I Just Watched One Tree Hill For The First Time & I Have Questions

Recently, it came to my attention that I was suffering from an OTH deficiency — that is, a lack of having watched the early-aughts teenage drama One Tree Hill. It was my TikTok FYP that diagnosed me, as clips and sound-bites from the series continued to go viral on my feed. “What does that TikTok sound mean?” I asked my roommate one day. “The one that says, ‘He’s on the door, Peyton! He’s on the damn door!’”

“YOU’VE NEVER SEEN ONE TREE HILL?” she gasped. “We are watching. Right now.” And so, my deep dive into one of the most iconic millennial television shows began. Nine seasons, 187 episodes, and three months later, I have finished my chaotic journey into Tree Hill, a fictional small town in North Carolina filled with horny teens, mysterious crimes, and endless drama. Needless to say, I have questions. And with an anticipated reboot in the works, will any of them get answered?

Before diving in, let’s take a moment of gratitude for the casting director: How did you find such a stacked crew of lethal face cards? Most of all, thank you for the gift that is Nathan Scott. I may have come for Chad Michael Murray, but I stayed for James Lafferty and his character, who has set the bar for television’s sweetest and hottest boyfriend.

OK, back to business — WTF was going on in this TV show?

1. Why can they all just walk into each other’s houses?

This may have been my most pressing question. Does no one lock their door? Why can they all stroll directly into each other’s bedrooms? Not just their best friend’s room, but their crush’s, their enemy’s, their random classmate’s, you name it. This stressed me out and made me want to call my landlord to update my locks.

2. Where are everyone’s parents?

Peyton is grieving the death of her birth mother, recovering from a gunshot wound, and hiding from her evil stalker. Where is her father? Does he really need to work on that shipping boat or whatever his distant job is? And how is it legal that Brooke’s parents left her (a minor) in Tree Hill to stay with Peyton’s nonexistent dad? Haley’s parents are also MIA — but don’t worry, they were present enough to let her get married in high school. Karen’s back must be exhausted from carrying the well-being of these high schoolers.

3. Does no one have homework?

How do they have so much time after school? The bell would ring, and Lucas would have go home, say hi to Karen, bang Brooke and/or Peyton, play a basketball game, get into a fight with Dan, and participate in some sort of cool group hang that I would have been jealous of as a teenager — all before the day was done.

4. Why are there so many car accidents in this tiny town?

Watching this show has made me worry that I’m likely to get hit by a car or be in a car that falls off a bridge. Generally, One Tree Hill has made me feel much more on edge just existing. This group of people has an unprecedented number of incidents and health scares — the Tree Hill hospital workers deserve a raise.

5. Why is Lucas lowkey the worst?

I say this with the utmost love and respect for my icon, Chad Michael Murray: Am I the only one who thinks Lucas is the villain? He falls in love with whoever is standing in front of him and toys with every girl’s emotions, with the facade of being a “nice guy.” And what’s with making Peyton the bad guy when he sprung marriage on her at a moment's notice?

6. What’s with the weird in-between life and death limbo stage?

Who in the writer’s room decided that Karen, Luke, Clay, and basically everyone who almost dies gets to float outside their body and see everything that’s happening? Why is that a thing? And why is everyone able to chat with Keith when they’re in limbo? This strange, magical element feels completely out of place in a realistic fiction show.

7. Does James Lucas Scott know he’s carrying the second half of this series?

Jamie is my everything. My brain cannot fathom how adorable he is. The show would have fallen apart had they not cast that little boy as Nathan and Haley’s perfect child, who is somehow wiser than every other character. It seems the actor has retired from the spotlight, but will he be in the OTH reboot? If not, can I at least give him a hug?

8. Am I OK for being attracted to Dan Scott?

Early on in my watch, I would be mortified to hear myself saying this about the man who murdered Keith and psychologically manipulated everyone in the town (especially my one true love, Nathan). But I’m going to be honest: I’m a Dan apologist. I don’t know what water he was drinking in Season 9, but that man is fine. The Scott boys truly are a different breed.

9. No offense, but what was the point of Season 9?

I’m all for having more episodes to watch, but Season 8 ended perfectly. Everyone’s lives were tied up with a bow. All problems were solved. Then *BAM*! Season 9, Episode 1, everyone’s lives are effed up again — Nathan is literally kidnapped, Mouth is getting fat-shamed, and Chase is somehow buying drugs while sleepwalking. Just wondering… why?

10. Do men like Nathan Scott exist in real life?

I don’t think I’ve ever loved a fictional couple more than Haley and Nathan. Where can I find that kind of passionate teenage love where you make crazy decisions (i.e., getting married in high school and not taking your birth control), but then grow into a partnership built on supporting each other’s dreams? Nowhere, it seems — certainly not on Hinge in New York City. Any Nathan Scott lookalikes out there can feel free to get in touch.

Despite my numerous unanswered questions, I cannot recommend this series enough if you have yet to do your own viewing (sorry if that’s the case, I just spoiled a lot). If I could, I would erase it from memory and rewatch all nine seasons, just for the chance to relive that bonkers drama with fresh eyes. If the reboot isn’t as wildly chaotic, I will be asking for my money back.