When I look at you, the following emojis come to mind: rope, shovel, hole.

She's been smothering me with hospitality. I hope to return the favor. In her sleep.

You know the old saying: Never bring a knife to a sword fight. Unless it's concealed.

Someone who crochets for a hobby isn't a worthy adversary.

Emotions are a gateway trait. They lead to feelings, which trigger tears. I don't do tears.

It's amateurs like you who give kidnapping a bad name.

Use the words 'little' and 'girl' to address me again and I can't guarantee your safety.

If he breaks your heart, I'll nail-gun his.

It's not my fault I can't interpret your emotional Morse code.

If you hear me screaming bloody murder, there's a good chance I'm just enjoying myself.

I brought my pocket mace. The medieval kind.

I don't hold séances very often. I can barely tolerate the living; why would I want to commune with the dead?

I don't bury hatchets. I sharpen them.