The Instagram Playboy Is Still Balling Out And You Will Be Jealous Of His Epic Lifestyle (Photos)
by Robert Anthony
Let's just face the facts here, no one wants to be like Tony Montana anymore. The whole spread-collar look is extremely outdated and getting your sprawling Miami mansion invaded during your weekly cocaine binge is never fun. Instead, people are aspiring to be Dan Bilzerian.
You might have heard of him, he also goes by the nickname "Instagram Playboy." Some say he gave himself that title, but after a quick glance at this dude's Instagram page, it's safe to say the real "Instagram Playboy" could be, in fact, standing up.
Dan Bilzerian lives the type of lifestyle that makes you want to call him a douche and then go on a serious rant about how much of a scumbag he is. During your rant, you'll probably have little to no supporting facts as to why you think he's a douche. But while you're calling him a douche, you're also wishing you were just as obnoxiously rich as he is.
Don't you want your driveway to look like a parking lot? Don't you want to be sitting shirtless at a Last Supper-like table with 15 models surrounding you, while someone uploads a photo of the greatness to your Instagram feed? Of course you do. We all do, and that's just another reason why Dan Bilzerian should inspire you to be the best you can be.
As a matter of fact, this guy could be modern day's most interesting man in the world. Here's why:
In between his board meetings, he bought this brand new Bentley.
The ladies love him.
He's got yachts on yachts on yachts.
If you were to visit one of his many luxurious homes, you'd find a plethora of exotic wildlife.
Ladies love exotic wildlife.
And he loves the ladies.
Wondering where the wealth stems from? Bilzerian plays poker.
He bets big.
He wins big.
Remember that Last Supper-like table we were talking about?
Aside from being a world class poker player, he's also a trained Navy SEAL.
He chills with hot girls every second of the day and even the monkey from 'The Hangover.'
He's got private jets.
He's got tons of exotic cars.
There are beautiful women around just to manage his cat's personal Instagram account.
Dan Bilzerian is not afraid to take a risk or two.
Oh, his gun collection? It's insane.
His TBT photos include the time he crashed his first Ferrari while he was on a date.
He understands that time is money.
Do you have goats at your house?
Do you have hand-painted portraits that sum up your poker career?
Is your pet a boss?
Bilzerian also likes to bowl... with company of course.
He knows exactly how to online shop. This bong is insane.
This is one of his main views.
This, too.
This is what his incoming wire transfers look like.
He does Sunday Funday the right way.
"Wake and bake, anyone?"
His bored Instagram posts generally look a lot like this.
Sometimes you need to really focus in Muay Thai class to stay prepared for the haters.
If you're Dan Bilzerian, the gym in your house looks like this.
Do you have a designated car to drive around Vegas with?
Swan diving off your yacht is only problem you might run into.
His Halloween pumpkins look like this.
"When I was a kid I never wanted to be classy, I just wanted to be rich."
You might've seen him in a few magazines.
When he takes care of his family, he takes care of his family.
If you ever visit one of his homes, you might have to sit here.
Options are always nice, aren't they?
Dan Bilzerian is known for winning $10.8 million in poker and then taking spontaneous trips to Puerto Vallarta to relax.
When he brings the whole team, he really brings the whole team.
His Laker games look like the back of yoga class.
His cat probably hates you.
His other cats probably hate you, too.
He risks his life for fun.
If you're a world class playboy, you have to have the proper artillery.
When you're an Instagram boss, topless women appear around you.
If they are wearing tops, it's because they're racing Porsches.
Dan Bilzerian is the most interesting man on Instagram.
