What Your Favorite Ice Cream Truck Treat As A Kid Says About You
Summer might not officially arrive for a few more weeks, but based on the multi-ton Pied Piper using its hypnotizing call to draw in the children (and adults with no willpower) of my neighborhood the past few nights, ice cream trucks are officially in season.
I don't think you've truly lived until you've tempted fate by running into the streets in pursuit of this four-wheeled siren just to savor whatever frosty treat you've decided to feast upon. However, picking the perfect concoction is easier said than done.
Much like your favorite cereal speaks volumes about your personality, you can tell almost everything you need to know about people from their go-to ice cream.
Am I overstating the importance of a seemingly minor detail in your life? Maybe, but that's exactly what a horoscope does and people seem to enjoy those.
This is basically a horoscope with food and knowing what I know about the Internet, I'm not sure why it's not more popular.
Ice Cream Sandwiches
What it said about you then: Your imagination was broken. Also, you apparently enjoyed cookies that tasted like a cardboard box that contained cocoa powder at some point in time.
What it says about you now: You drive a midsize sedan with good safety ratings and consider low-fat brownies with added fiber a guilty pleasure.
Freezer pops
What it said about you then: You appreciated a fantastic value as much as you enjoyed having cuts on the sides of your mouth.
What is says about you now: You tell yourself you're buying these for nostalgic reasons when you can't afford Ben and Jerry's.
Snowcones
What it said about you then: You were willing to ignore the virtual lack of flavor for the syrup at the bottom.
What it says about you now: You only order martinis for the olives at the end.
Screwballs
What it said about you then: You were willing to deal with a fairly underwhelming experience to taste the balls at the bottom.
What it says about you now: You've been willing to deal with a fairly underwhelming experience to taste the balls at the bottom.
Drumsticks
What it said about you then: You were willing deal with a fairly underwhelming experience to eat the chocolate at the bottom.
What it says about you now: I think you can guess the joke I'm going to make here.
Popsicles of any cartoon character with gumballs for eyes
What it said about you then: There's nothing you loved more than marketing and horrible disappointment. You probably asked for Moon Shoes for Christmas one year.
What it says about you now: You can't figure out why the pills you purchased from an online Canadian pharmacy for $29.99 (plus processing and handling) haven't even added a fraction of an inch.
Bomb Pops
What it said about you then: There's nothing you love more than America and horrible disappointment. You probably became a Dallas Cowboys fan at some point in the late 90s.
What it says about you now: Your seemingly obvious solution to ending most international conflicts involves bombs and more bombs.
Creamsicles
What it said about you then: You had a sophisticated palate and appreciated a delicate balance of flavors -- as long as that flavor was orange. Despite the picture above, there were no other flavors and anyone who claims otherwise is a fool.
What it says about you now: You order a Creamsicle shot at any bar that offers it while yelling, "This was like my favorite thing as a kid!"
Chipwiches
What it said about you then: You wanted to taste luxury from an early age.
What is says about you now: You'll see the "Entourage" movie the first day it comes out.
Chipless Chipwiches
What it said about you then: Your parents did a terrible job raising you.
What is says about you now: You probably order burritos without guacamole.
Choco Tacos
What it said about you then: You were really into fusion cuisine before you even knew it existed.
What it says about you now: You were the Taco Bell intern who invented the Doritos taco.
Snickers Ice Cream bars
What it said about you then: You paid for the brand name, not the ice cream.
What it says about you now: You've been to a chain restaurant in Times Square (probably the Hard Rock Café before seeing "The Lion King").
Italian ices
What it said about you then: You enjoyed all of the ice cream eating experience without any of the flavor or lactose.
What it says about you now: You occasionally eat a bowl filled with ice cubes in place of an actual meal.
Klondike bars
What it said about you then: You didn't realize that the one brief moment of satisfaction followed by a rapid meltdown and everything falling apart was actually a metaphor for life.
What it says about you now: You've accepted your fate and appreciate the irony.
Boring, regular ice cream bars
What it said about you then: You liked all the negative aspects of a Klondike bar with the added inconvenience of a stick.
What is says about you now: You don't just take selfies -- you take them with a selfie stick.
Chocolate Eclair bars
What it said about you then: You didn't really know what you were eating, you just knew you liked it.
What it says about you now: You frequently order from the cheapest Chinese restaurant in your neighborhood.
Toasted Almond bars
What it said about you then: They were out of chocolate eclairs.
What it says about you now: You think you're being healthy because it's almond.