5 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore, As Told By 'The Bachelorette'
The Bachelorette is a dating reality television competition, but with hoards of guys cramped in one house, all vying for the attention of one woman. It also seems like one huge social experiment.
The show is entertaining because of Rachel Lindsay, but it's also pretty interesting to watch these guys interact with each other.
As they hem and haw over who is "genuine" and who is "annoying" and who is too young to date Rachel, their actions can be very telling. More often than not, we've seen a lot of red flags, as guys say certain things that begin to reveal their true characters.
Whether you're dating or just making new friends, here are a few red flag lessons that we've already learned from watching The Bachelorette. Rachel went through them so you don't have to, so make sure you're taking notes:
1. There Is Nothing To Be Done With A Liar
Fool you once, shame on them. Fool you twice? Well, never let them get that far. It says a lot about someone who will look you in your face and lie with a straight one, especially after you've given them the opportunity to tell the truth.
When Rachel kicked out DeMario for lying, everyone cheered because the best way to deal with a liar is to never give them another chance to play your face again.
It was empowering for women all over the country to see Rachel refuse to give DeMario a second chance -- especially when the romantic comedies we are force-fed in pop culture almost always show women giving men multiple chances in the name of "love."
2. If Several People Are Telling You Someone Is Horrible, Believe Them
If more than one person is getting the same vibe from someone, it's wise to consider that POV. Consider Whaboom Luke, who was off-putting to everyone in the house and quickly chalked off as a guy with terrible motives — to everyone, that is, but Rachel.
She loved his dramatics and found him funny, while everyone else endured his messiness. Eventually, Rachel let him go, but only after she let him push his foolishness to the max.
But she didn't even need to wait around for him to have a blow-up argument with anyone. The writing was on the wall from the moment he stepped onto the camera yelling obnoxiously with a tagline on his shirt.
Then there's Lee, who all of the guys have called out as an instigator and trouble-maker. Contestant Dean has specifically dubbed Lee an "idiot," along with basically all of Twitter.
Moral of the story? Stop entertaining clowns that are more foul than fun.
3. Beware Of People Who Only Talk About One Thing All The Time
Yep, I'm thinking of Kenny, the guy who wrestles in Vegas and has a daughter. It's cute that he is a father and cares so much about his daughter, but there are way too many conversations he has with Rachel that center his fatherhood.
Like, can you ask about what Rachel likes? Can y'all discuss films or retrograde or Rachel's dog, Copper? Can y'all freestyle together like you're back on the boat of episode four?
Him talking about his daughter 24/7 makes me wonder if their entire relationship would be that way. Whether it's children, politics, or news, it's annoying to talk about the same topic all the time. Hang out with people who can add more to a conversation.
4. Zero Chemistry Is A Red Flag Too
Fred, really wanted to be with Rachel -- who he knew from childhood. She was his camp counselor and they attended the same grade school. Every time she saw him, all she could see was the little kid she knew way back when.
At first, I wanted her to just look at Fred for the man he is now, but then he pulled a no-no by asking her if he could give her a kiss instead of making a true connection with her that would lead him there organically.
That may not be a major violation, but it is a major turn-off when you're the kinda gal who prefers a take-charge dude.
What made it worse was that he only attempted to kiss her after he heard that other guys in the house had gotten a kiss and he told her that. Like, huh? She was never going to get that school boy image out of her mind with that move.
Rachel was right all along. Nothing about Fred was ever going to do it for her, and I'm glad she didn't listen to my silent pleas and let him stick around any longer.
This kind of non-connection can happen with friends too. The best unions are the ones that come easily. Stop trying to make fetch happen. Let it all flow or let it all go.
5. Know When Attention-Seeking Goes Too Far
This is a competitive show so, of course, the guys are going to work to steal Rachel's attention. Competing against several other guys is not the typical dating experience, so they've got to do what they got to do. It's also not bad if a person is just naturally the life of the party.
Some people aren't desperate for attention, but instead like to make other people smile and bring them joy. In the long run, their energy could be a huge source of happiness for you during times when you need it the most.
But if their way of stealing the show involves passive aggressively picking fights with other people and then throwing them under the bus — then draw that line. I'm looking at you, Lee.
Josiah tried to shine for Rachel with push ups and taking off his shirt. Kenny freestyle-rapped.
Lee's method is tattling to Rachel every time he gets called out by a person he picked a fight with. In fact, I haven't seen one romantic gesture from Lee that suggests he's even into Rachel. He's more concerned with talking to her about other guys in the house.
A person who throws stones, stirs the pot, and then hides their hands is the worst kind of attention-seeker.
