It's OK If You Don't Make Best Friends The First Month Of College

My college was on the quarter system, so I started school a month later than all of my friends from home, who went to schools on the semester system.

That meant by the time I was just doing my freshman orientation and meeting my roommate for the first time, my friends were already going to their first sorority semis with their new boyfriends and posting pictures all over social media with their new BEST friends.

The pressure was on.

The first person I met in college was my roommate. Let's call her Jenna. We were random roommates, and for the most part, we got along well.

She wasn't someone I would necessarily be best friends with. We had different interests. She liked to study and get involved with student body government, I liked to party... and that was about it.

I was lucky I didn't have some evil roommate who I hated. In fact, I would go so far as to say that Jenna was my friend. She was someone I could really talk to and hang out with, and to this day she's probably one of the nicest people I've ever met.

But the fact of the matter remained that we had no common interests. We were never going to be best friends.

This is not to mention that she was so busy with student government activities, so she was barely ever in the room. So I would get pretty lonely. I'd sit in my room and FaceTime my friends from home with all of their new college friends, wondering why that wasn't happening for me yet.

Sure, I had people to go out with. I even had people to get meals with! And there was nothing wrong with my new "friends." They just had nothing on my friends from home.

I didn't get it. I would scroll across my friends' pictures with their new college friends and wonder if they had as many inside jokes as we did, or if they could REALLY tell these new girls all of the embarrassing things I knew about them. Was I missing something? Why didn't I already have a million new best friends?!

I thought about transferring, but something inside me pushed me to hang in there just a little longer. And I'm glad I did because, slowly but surely, I started making some of my best friends in the whole world.

I thought about transferring, but something inside me pushed me to hang in there just a little longer.

Some of them came along just a couple more months into my freshman year.  But then there were some who didn't come along until sophomore year or junior year or even senior year! The fact of the matter is that they came along.

One of my friends and I went from casual friends to best friends when we drunkenly realized neither of us really liked the girls we were pre-gaming with one night freshman year.

Another girl and I became best friends when she and her cool, ~older~ friends stopped me on the quad to let me know they lived in my dorm and we should hang out sometime.

Then, there's the girl I became best friends when we were paired together as partners in Spanish class during sophomore year.

I have one best friend I didn't even meet until she randomly subletted a room in my house for a semester senior year.

Then, I guess this is how my friend, Ben, and I bonded junior year:

You get it.

Friendships just sort of happen. There's no need to stress about it. It might take some time, but I promise you'll fall into the right friend group.

Friendships just sort of happen. There's no need to stress about it.

Freshman year of college is scary. It's unlike anything you've ever done before. You're suddenly torn apart from everything you've ever known. You're probably the most insecure and terrified you've ever been, and during this time, you're supposed to be "putting yourself out there" and awkwardly friend-flirting with a bunch of people who are just as insecure and terrified as you are.

And, if you're anything like me, there might even be a little part of you that doesn't really want to get close to these new people because you're afraid that maybe having new best friends might take away from your relationships with your old ones.

But you're going to make new friends. You might become friends with some sucky people who aren't right for you at first. Or maybe you'll eat every meal alone in your room for a month straight. No matter what the case, eventually, someway somehow, the forces will come together and you'll become best friends with some awesome people who were meant for you.

And the best part? Your new friends don't take anything away from your relationships with your friends from home.

I know it's the lamest advice in the book, but just be yourself. Don't worry about TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS. I know it's hard not to when you're feeling like a lonely, friendless loser. But, seriously, just try to give yourself a break.

Don't do things to try to make friends. Do things because you like to do them.

Don't do things to try to make friends. Do things because you like to do them.

I promise if you do things you're interested in, you'll eventually meet people who have the same interests as you (like Ben and I and our mutual love for going to get good food off-campus).

Just be yourself and be open to new people. Remember everyone is just as nervous and terrified as you are. So don't feel weird about going up to that random girl on your floor and starting conversation (like my one best friend did when she came up to me at the quad), or drunkenly going up to your friend-crush from Phil 101 next time you see her at a party (like I did with my other friend when we realized we both hated everyone we were drinking with).

Odds are, she's just as desperate for friends as you are.

And I'm warning you right now: You're going to come across some people whom you would rather gauge your eyes out than be friends with. But honestly... who cares? I mean, seriously. If you don't click with someone, who cares?

You know who you are, you know where you come from and you know you still have your friends from home who still love you to pieces. Just keep putting yourself out there and being yourself. Eventually, the right friends will come your way.

Just keep putting yourself out there and being yourself. Eventually, the right friends will come your way.