Lifestyle

You Don’t Get To Comment On Someone Else’s Sexuality

by Addriey Jones

Generally, I tend to stay away from what’s going on with celebrities because I don’t care much whether Louis Tomlinson is about to be a father or if Charlie Sheen has another hooker in his house.

However, the journalist’s response to Cara Delevingne’s sexuality caught my attention, and its relevance to current issues kept it there for a long time.

It’s laughable to me that grown adults are unable to see that you don’t get to comment on anyone else’s personal choice.

Also, you don’t get to comment on someone else’s sexuality because it doesn’t define someone as a complete human being.

A person is not composed only of their sexuality; they are a construction of kindness, intelligence and internal beauty.

When I read the sentences, "You need to learn to trust a man," and "It’s a phase," I was furious. I was furious because I am 19 years old, and it makes me sick to think people who are older and supposedly wiser can’t seem to grasp the basic concept of tolerance.

These two sentences illustrate perfectly how intolerance is ingrained into our society.

So, let’s dissect it, shall we? This is for those who don't understand why we "LGBT extremist crazed people" are making such a huge deal about this.

First of all, we are not making a huge deal out of this. We are responding to it in a perfectly appropriate way.

Second, we are pursuing this because these two sentences imply a) anyone who identifies as anything but hetrosexual will be magically fixed once learning to trust, b) it trivializes our self-awareness as something that will pass, and c) it’s disrespectful.

Sexuality, among many other things, is not a phase. It is not something you grow up or out of. It is who you are, and it’s not something you can change without destroying yourself.

There’s no denying the fact we humans are fickle, but that doesn't mean whatever we are experiencing is not important.

Just because people develop and become different versions of their past selves does not mean it’s a phase.

A phase is what you call something not worthy of your time; it’s what you say when you don’t want to deal with something.

What you don’t call a phase is someone finding him or herself. That’s never a phase; it's becoming self-aware, and yes, sometimes, you get it wrong.

Sometimes you realize you aren’t who you thought you were, but you can’t disregard the moments you lived as that person because it's part of you.

I’ve heard a lot about this situation, and something that bugged me was when I read a comment stating this was only being blown out of proportion because Cara Delevigne is famous.

This incident isn’t only making constant headlines because Cara Delevigne is extremely popular at the moment; it’s making headlines because it encapsulates society’s biggest flaw: intolerance.

Intolerance will lead to the destruction of the world. No, I’m not being dramatic.

Intolerance is the cause of almost all of our problems. There are religious wars being fought because we humans do no have the capability to coexist with the idea of different or non-existent gods.

There are homophobic crimes being carried out because we aren’t able to live with ideals different from our own.

There are people committing suicide because their uniqueness is a reason for persecution. The list goes on.

Take any issue and strip it down to its bare form, and you will see the conflict only exists due to how willing we are to practice intolerance.

Tolerance is, in its simplest form, respect.

Tolerance is practiced when someone is exposed to another person’s decision (be it religion, sexuality, race, etc.) and accepts it even if he or she does not agree with it.

This idea of tolerance is not a new or complex concept, it is something we are taught as children: to respect your friend's choice of different ideas.

It is something we are taught consistently as we grow up, yet people continue to ignore it. And, while others might ignore it, we should learn to live by it.

Tolerance will help make the world a place we feel our children and grandchildren will be safe growing up in.

So no, you don’t get to comment on someone else’s sexuality, not only because it has nothing to do with you, but because you’re not practicing tolerance.

You’re going to learn that other people have different choices and beliefs, and this does not make them subject to "fixing" or persecution.

We live in the year 2015; we are surrounded by technology that people 50 years ago couldn’t even begin to comprehend, and things are constantly evolving and changing around us.

Don’t you think it’s about high time we take control of our society and be the best people we can be?