There’s a lot of misconceptions surrounding the idea of a man with arrogance. Let me tell you, it’s a good thing.
I donate to charities, I help people that can’t help me back, I love kids and animals, and I open the door for women. However, I’m arrogant and will often take care of myself before others.
I don't regret my tendencies to be selfish, and I never will.
As men, we are made to have power. If we want to be reductive, we can group men into two groups: men with power and men without power. Men with power are the ones who achieve great things; men without it, don’t.
Power allows you to give to others; it allows you to help people and give back. Now usually, men with power are arrogant; arrogance is what makes you want power in the first place.
To put it simply, power is what allows you to help others, but you only get power if you care about yourself first. This is completely fine.
The key misconception people have about arrogant people -- men in particular -- is that they think the arrogant only help themselves. They think they are self-absorbed and want everything, leaving no space for others at all.
That’s not true. What an arrogant man does is take care of himself. Then, he helps others.
It’s not a matter of exclusion; it’s a matter of prioritization. Most people do the opposite: They choose to help others and give all their power away, and then, if they do have some small speck of resources left, they give to themselves.
To use a simple analogy, think back to the time of cavemen. There are two men hunting, and there’s a high quality piece of meat and a low quality piece of meat.
The humble man is the one who doesn’t want the high quality piece of meat because he won’t give anything of value back. He doesn't really believe he'll be able to hunt or give anything to his tribe.
The arrogant man is the one that wants the quality piece of meat for himself, because in return, he’ll use that to have energy and hunt better meat or just help others in some way.
Again, it’s not choosing whether to help yourself or others; it’s prioritizing and putting yourself first.
There is nothing wrong with being arrogant, provided you don’t cross the line. The problem isn’t arrogant people; it's when they cross a line where they absolutely don’t help others at all and truly want everything and anything for themselves.
Sure, in those cases, that is a genuinely horrible character flaw. However, most people don’t make an accurate assessment. They think that if I take care of myself first, then automatically, I’m one of the people who crosses the line and genuinely only cares about myself.
Being arrogant, in a good way, is one of the most powerful and interesting character traits to have. By taking care of yourself first, you have charisma, you gain more critical thinking, you prioritize yourself, you start to challenge conventions, and you create your own initiatives in this world.
Photo via We Heart It
