Lifestyle

5 Signs Your Parents Aren't Just Controlling, They're Toxic

by Zach Chen

In the ever-changing world, family is the source of our refuge and our support.

Within the family, parents are akin to the seamstress for our fabric of life. Without parents, our lives won't be established as completely or happily.

Parents are essential and important for many years in our pasts, presents and futures.

The majority of people owe a big part of their growth and development to their parents. However, parents are humans, and they err, too.

Some parents make mistakes occasionally, but they do learn and correct themselves. Others do not change their ways so easily, and they might be tough to get along with as parents.

While it is necessary to treat parents with respect, we should not let that distract us from recognizing toxic parents who have negative impacts on our lives.

Here are a few simple ways to tell if you have a toxic parent:

1. Selfish perspective

Toxic parents tend to be more self-centered in their thoughts, always considering their own benefits, their own interests and their own convenience above all else.

It's not difficult to spot such people because the selfish perspectives surface in their daily decisions and behavior.

Be it disregard for your feelings, unreasonable demands or invasion of privacy, a toxic parent exhibits their selfishness as they impose on you.

Pay a little attention and you can tell a toxic parent who drips of egotistical personality.

2. Destructive communication

The words that parents say actually tell tales of what kind of people they are. Toxic parents are more likely and more frequently seen speaking unkindly.

They say whatever is on their mind, usually in a negative manner, bulldozing others with their sharp and pointy words.

They lack tact, care and courtesy when they speak to others. Toxic parents are more often seen putting down than building up others with their words.

They have no qualms of ravishing others of their pride, self-esteem or happiness, just for their own purpose.

3. Adverse actions

Actions speak louder than words.

Parents are known to perform acts of sacrifice out of love for their children. Whether is it short-term like lending a listening ear in times of trouble or long-term like helping to prepare daily meals, the acts of giving are a hallmark of a loving parent.

Living together and spending time together gives opportunities for parents to shower love for their son or daughter.

When parents deviate from these traits and start showing objectionable, offensive or even obnoxious behavior towards their son or daughter, it is a huge red flag.

4. Lack of remorse

In the fit of anger or conflict, anyone may say or do things that are hurtful. However, normal amiable individuals will realize their mistakes, apologize and make up in due time.

If you realize your parent does not show any regret or apology, time and again, despite their undesirable actions, something is amiss.

This is possibly evidence they have become toxic.

5. Being toxic becomes a habit

All huge things start small. Toxic tendencies start small, but if left unnoticed and uninterrupted, they may grow into habits.

Habits, if left alone to manifest, might turn into something deep-seated.

If you realize your parent is being nasty to you on too many occasions for comfort, it's a sign telling you that your parent may have become toxic.

If it isn't right, you should start taking notice and blow the whistle.