Nostalgia.
An idea so powerful that with the simplicity of a scent, taste or view it can be triggered, inducing upon us a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.
Nostalgia is one of those things we don't always realize through our journey of happiness, but when we fall on it during our dark days, it's seemingly inescapable.
Though we look at nostalgia through a pessimistic eye, there's beauty in the burrows of our past. A beauty that takes the whole idea of a "sentimental longing for the past” to an entirely new level of being.
We find ourselves saddened by the thought of what we make out to be "better times," and we don't even stop to consider that the sip of coffee that reminds us of a warmer place, or smell that brings us back to a more comfortable home, can be somewhat of a good feeling for our present too.
I never thought the nostalgia I had come to know was ever exquisitely placed in my life.
I always thought it was my mind's way of saying a memory belongs there, and will always somehow be there and be better and more momentous than now.
But recently, I was introduced to a new form of nostalgia that didn't bring me back to a past place in which I missed, but instead pushed me toward the future place in which I belong.
After a two-year whirlwind of ups and downs with my ex, everything between us that was once so black and white became unknowingly gray a year after we broke up.
I found myself sitting in the heart of New York City in the late of summer, sharing pastime feelings with a past love over a glass of rosé.
I was sitting in a small chair, in a big Manhattan restaurant, when I suddenly realized I wasn't meant to be there and what was once the comforting past of sitting table-side with my ex, was now suddenly making me feel restless.
Gazing into his eyes, deep into the hopelessly romantic soul I once loved, I realized my hopelessness for him had become hope for something and someone else, and it was as soon as I left my chair and turned the city corner to let go of the night, that I knew I would be letting go of my ex too.
Suddenly, we broke apart our separate ways and watching him turn left, I went right into my new chapter of life, knowing in my heart that was the last time we would meet.
In the same city I had fallen in love, I fell out of love too. And that type of nostalgia was the most beautiful type I had yet to feel.
So now months later, as the leaves turn colors and begin to fall around the autumn ground outside of my new apartment, I endure a glass of rosé with the nostalgic feeling of hope and the excitement of a new, and better life.
With every sip that brings me back to that Manhattan summer night, I'm reminded that the best is yet to come.
These seemingly inconsequential moments come to be pivotal points that help define the rest of our lives, the way we see the world and the way the world sees us.
Nostalgia is a feeling we define through words we hear, sights we see, scents we smell and people we meet. Each person's reminiscence is unique and undefined. It yields not only for regret, but for positivity in life too.
For all of the hopelessness we fall upon when dealing with the pieces of our past, there's always the side of our feelings that's rich with hopefulness.
With every bit of remorse we feel over what once was lies an optimistic thought or valuable lesson that will help lead us down the path in which we belong.
Sometimes, through all of the gray area, the answer to questions about our past could be as simple as a cold glass of rosé.
