Technology is so great for so many reasons. FaceTime? Love it. Texting? So easy.
It also provides you with lots of innovative ways to make yourself appear cooler. Want to improve your game? Take three hours to respond to the guy you've been flirting with. Want to look hotter? Use eight million filters to post the best possible picture of yourself on Instagram, then sit back and relax as the likes pour in.
But, as with all the best things, there's a dark side to all of this: Technology also has the power to make you look like a giant loser.
Maybe you'll relate to a few of these moments.
1. When you view someone's LinkedIn profile and the site tells that person about it.
Don't say I didn't warn you. This happened to my editor, Alexia. She viewed a guy's LinkedIn profile before their first date and he called her out for it. (Clearly he's into the loser thing though because he's her boyfriend now. So ... thanks, LinkedIn?)
2. When LinkedIn sends people e-mails reminding them your invitation is “still waiting.”
Today, I got another e-mail from LinkedIn reminding me that Rick from high school's invitation is still pending. I know he didn't send the note, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think of him as a desperate loser after reading it.
3. When Snapchat opens your ex's story.
HE JUST POSTED IT ONE MINUTE AGO, UGH.
4. When you open a text immediately because you have nothing better to do, and the read receipt gives you away.
Then you have to respond, but you can't just casually send a reply without first consulting all of your best friends about what to say. It's so stressful because that person knows exactly what you're up to. What a mess.
5. When you accidentally hit "reply all" on an email chain.
And now your entire office knows you're missing the meeting because you have a doctor's appointment for the weird fungus on your toe.
6. When people see you taking a Snapchat selfie using one of those filters requires opening and closing your mouth.
To an onlooker, you are watching yourself silently yawn. Little do they know, you're just trying to make your eyes go all googly with that Mona Lisa filter.
7. When you overdo the Photoshop on your new profile picture.
Your thinning tool distorts the stairway behind you and everyone knows you use a thinning tool. You just want to die.
8. When you're trying to read a text while walking and end up smacking into a pole.
My friend got four stitches in his eyebrow for this exact thing, so I'm not joking. PSA, everyone.
9. When you're tagged in the most revolting picture ever taken.
The worst part is that you didn't even realize it was there until months later.
10. When you're pretending to be on the phone to avoid talking to someone ... and it rings.
It's freshman year of college, and you just had your first random hook up ever. You have no idea how to react when you see him on campus, so you just pull out your phone and start maniacally talking to nobody. And then, your phone starts ringing on loud.
I wonder why that guy never asked you out…?
11. When your co-worker catches you stalking her Facebook photos from 2007.
You look so creepy, but she friended you first. What, were you not supposed to stalk her well into those ugly middle school years?
12. When you come across your co-worker on Tinder.
You just feel so awkward trying to decide which direction to swipe. A swipe right and maybe you have one of those funny ironic conversations, but what if he's serious? If you swipe left and he swipes right, you'll look like a bitch.
13. When you Facebook stalk the guy you made out with once. From then on, he pops up under “people you may know” every single time you log on.
You casually looked him up once. And now Joey Smith, Facebook name “Joseph Alexander,” will forever be in your life every time you type the letter “J.”
14. When Pandora asks if you're still listening.
YES, PANDORA. I AM STILL LISTENING. I LEGITIMATELY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
15. When Netflix asks if you'd like to continue watching.
Yep, no plans over here.
16. When you have fewer than 11 likes on your Instagram post.
It just lists the names in a pitiful little group under your picture.
