Cucumber Matcha Tea Is Exactly What You've Been Missing In Your Life

Unless you live in a cave à la the shoe bomber, you’ve definitely heard the buzz around the interwebz about matcha, the latest and greatest health fad that is sweeping the nation and beyond.

Now, I’ve gone on and on about matcha lately -- that's no secret.

As I’ve said repeatedly, in multiple languages (read: just English), if you’re not drinking matcha, I honestly do not know WTF is wrong with you.

Just drink it, OK? You promise?

Recently, however, we at Elite Daily got to thinking about other super drinks that could improve your health. What did we dare to explore? Good old cucumber water.

Yep, like the stuff they give you at spas to keep you hydrated and feeling luscious whilst you wait for your masseur, Juan Carlos, to collect you for your 60-minute deep tissue massage… sorry, got ahead of myself there.

Anyhow, we then got to thinking: What if you combined matcha tea AND cucumber water together?!

MIND. BLOWN.

Listen up: Cucumber matcha tea just changed the motherf*cking game.

Let’s go over matcha again for the cheap seats in the back.

Matcha is highly condensed green tea that is whisked into water with a bamboo whisk (or you can cheat and use an electric stirrer like me) that is then consumed. You don’t steep it like normal tea; you consume it whole.

As Eric Gower, the creative director and founder of Breakaway Matcha told Elite Daily:

Matcha is more potent than regular steeped green tea mainly because the leaves are consumed whole in the form of very finely powdered tea whisked and temporarily suspended in hot or cold water.

Matcha has 137 times the antioxidant count of green tea and has a higher oxygen radical absorbance capacity than all the major super foods combined! Take that, stupid goji berries!

It calms your ass down.

Not only is matcha basically the hulk of healthy bevs, it also acts as a natural mood enhancer and anxiety reliever.

Elena Volkova, tea expert at Culinary Teas, gave Elite the low down. Matcha “contains L-theanine, which helps relax the mind and enhance mood, focus and alertness.”

So essentially, you’re boosting up your antioxidants all while bringing down your stress. Are you convinced yet?

It fights cancer, makes your skin brighter and enhances your metabolism.

Say what, Gigi? Yeah, you heard me.

According to Gower, matcha has “cancer-fighting properties that may induce apoptosis [which is] the death of rapidly proliferating cancerous cells.”

BYE, CANCER! SEE YOU NEVER!

It also contains a chemical that freshens breath, and with all of the phytonutrients, it will make your skin look young and beautiful for all eternity. OK, all eternity may be a stretch, but you catch my drift.

It cures hangovers.

As I’ve previously mentioned (and tweeted about more times than I can count), matcha will take away the dreaded feelings that come about the day after you take your beloved bottle of wine to the face.

When we’re hungover AF, we need hydration and antioxidants… so literally matcha.

Just stir it into a big glass of water, and you’ll be on your sh*t, instead of hanging over the toilet seat in your company’s communal bathroom, in no time at all. Cindy from accounting was absolutely judging you the day after the holiday party.

If you don't like the taste, you can bake it.

Matcha’s taste doesn’t always sit well with all of those who try it. It tastes just like unsweetened, heady green tea. It can be a little bitter, so it’s understandable that it wouldn’t be for everyone.

So, for all you wussies who can’t handle a little tea, we’ll make this more palatable for you.

Matcha is still good for you when you mix it with other stuff (and bake it!). But, you know what makes it even better for you? Adding cucumbers!

Cucumbers curb hunger, and then some.

Cucumber should be your go-to ingredient for your matcha 2.0 because it has a whole bunch of awesome health benefits by itself!

Unlike matcha, it can curb your hunger. Since a slice of cucumber contains fewer than 50 calories, you’ll be hydrating while still consuming a few needed cals, so your body doesn’t murder you for not feeding it.

Cucumbers also contain silica, which reduces acne and aids in muscle tissue strength. This delicious fruit also has a sh*tload of antioxidants like vitamins A and D.

I’m not sure if you can OD on antioxidants, but I’m a “more is more” kind of a gal.

It's easy to make.

Just make your matcha tea by whisking it up in a reusable water bottle (because we love the environment).

Add a whole lot of ice and one or two slices of thick, juicy cucumber, and stick it in the fridge for 40 minutes or so. When it’s nice and chilly, shake it like a Polaroid picture, and add even more ice.

Then drink it up, baby. Mmmm, that’s good.

Most importantly, it can be infused with alcohol.

As a side note, this sh*t is DELICIOUS with a little (or a lot, no judgment) of vodka. We’re talking refreshing, delicious, nutritious, low-calorie cocktails just in time for rooftop season.

I have even named it: The MatchaCutini! Ladies, rejoice!

Make a few pitchers of MatchaCutini, and you will be a winner at any and all BBQs and ratchet picnics.

Yeah, you’re welcome.