58 Captions For Anyone Who Loves To Be Salty And Sarcastic

Salty, with a side of sarcasm — that's the style of your social media, and you wouldn't want it to be any other way. You love how your Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and Twitter accounts show off your sense of humor, and are a genuine representation of your personality. They’re totally unfiltered, and the places to go for a collection of your favorite memes, unsolicited thoughts, and unpopular opinions. However, despite having such a good handle on straightforwardness, you may want these honest or sarcastic Instagram captions for your upcoming posts, so you don’t need to come up with a caption yourself.

To be honest (again), coming up with captions can be tricky at times. You have a super quick wit, and will spend hours crafting the best joke for social media so it’ll go viral. But some days you just don’t have the time or energy to create the Next Viral Thing™. On those days, you may turn to outside help like your straightforward bestie, a reality television star, or Stevie Budd from Schitt’s Creek, who’s “incapable of faking sincerity.” Like you, they approach everything in life with honesty and aren’t afraid to tell it like it is, but typically don’t take the joke too far.

That’s a really good balance to have, because you don’t want to hurt anyone in the process of posting on social media and raking in the likes. You only want to share your thoughts about pineapple on pizza, low-rise jeans, and Lorde’s new single, and see how people will react to your salty side. These sarcastic Instagram captions will help you do just that, and be your funny, real, and sometimes moody self online.

1. "Whatever sprinkles your doughnuts."
2. "Don’t be the only one standing in your way."
3. "I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" — Chandler Bing, Friends
4. "Now is this look comfortable for you, or uncomfortable?" — Stevie Budd, Schitt’s Creek
5. "That’ll be a no from me."
6. "I wish more people were fluent in silence."
7. "She believed she could, but she was really tired. So she didn't."
8. "Fun fact: I’m not a big fan of fun facts."
9. "Who let low-rise jeans happen in the first place?"
10. "You didn’t have to go that hard."
11. "Me? Sarcastic? Never."
12. "I want to roll my eyes right now. But the doctor said if I keep doing it, my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs." — Liz Lemon, 30 Rock
13. "I have a definite opinion on this...I don't care." — Steven Hyde, That '70s Show
14. "My back hurts from carrying the weight of being the funny friend."
15. "God, it’s brutal out here." — Olivia Rodrigo, “brutal”
16. "Can you kiss me more?" — Doja Cat, “Kiss Me More”
17. "I had to do it to ‘em."
18. "You can't make everyone happy. You're not an avocado."
19. "You sir, are the human version of period cramps."
20. "Someday I'm going to eye roll myself into another dimension."
21. "I feel like I'm already tired tomorrow."
22. "Long story short, it was a bad time." — Taylor Swift, “long story short”
23. "Let's just be who we really are."
24. "Isn’t that fantastic?"
25. "Sorry, that doesn’t go with my outfit."
26. "I pinky promise."
27. "Unpopular opinion check!"
28. "Anyways, I’m cute."
29. "I don’t have time to hate anyone."
30. "Doing my best and forgetting the rest."
31. "What a time to be alive."
32. "That ain’t it."
33. "Honesty is my policy."
34. "File this under: my thoughts."
35. "What more could you ask for?"
36. "The grass isn’t always greener."
37. "This is a sign. I’m not sure if it’s your sign."
38. "I’m always on do not disturb mode."
39. "Felt cute, won’t delete later."
40. "It’s not hard to be a nice human."
41. "Just want to nap in the sun like a cat. Is that too much to ask?"
42. "Personally, I’d give this Instagram post a 10/10."
43. "An eye roll a day keeps the bad vibes away."
44. "Wake me up when something interesting is happening."
45. "It’s all fun and games here."
46. "I’ve had too little iced coffee, and too much Monday."
47. "Dear crush, you can text me now if you want."
48. "Excuse you."
49. "See you never or forever."
50. "I spy with my little eye the cutest human there ever was."
51. "Pineapple on pizza is great. There I said it."
52. "Some things never change and that’s OK."
53. "Do you, for you."
54. "Don’t live anybody’s life but yours."
55. "A little less fight and a little more spark." — Elvis Presley, “A Little Less Conversation”
56. "There’s nothing more to do than seize the day."
57. "When life gives you lemons, trade them for something better."
58. "Hashtag mood."