Your Personal Villain Era Begins *Now*

Villains often get a bad rap — but not all of them are truly evil. Your villain origin story could begin with something as inconvenient as overpriced groceriess or as stressful as friendship drama. These are just a few of the many reasons why TikTokers are entering their “villain era” right now.

If 2024 was the year of being delulu, 2025 is a time for being the antagonist (within reason, of course — I’m not talking about becoming Tom Sandoval from Vanderpump Rules). Ultimately, we do what we gotta do for self-care.

Over 68,000 TikToks with #VillainEra have been posted to the social media platform — many in the last five months — including Sahar Dahi’s video about entering an era of standing up for herself. The 25-year-old content creator (aka @saharrooo) from Toronto, Canada, who regularly posts videos she describes as the “epitome of Gen Z girl in her 20s,” tells Elite Daily that being in your villain era is about deciding to protect your peace.

“I'll be the villain if it means having self-respect and setting my boundaries,” she says. Dahi posted her villain era TikTok after she realized she wasn’t communicating her needs properly during some difficult situations with friends. “When there's a problem, it’s your job to tell people your boundaries, what you need, what you don't need, and then you've done your part,” she says. “If they cross that boundary, then that is on them.”

Of course, you’re not turning to dark magic or curses like a Disney character, but when you stop talking to a friend it may be seen as cold. But Dahi, a Swiftie, reframes it, pointing to when Taylor Swift came out of hiding following her feud with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian and released songs like “Look What You Made Me Do” in 2017. “In reality, it's literally her self-respect era.”

“A snake isn't going to just attack you for no reason,” Dahi says. They bite back if someone threatens or hurts them. Of course, becoming a villain may be easier said than done when you’re so used to going with the toxic flow. So, below, Dahi shares some easy steps to take for entering your villain era in 2025 and standing up against people not worth your time.

Become Your Own Best Friend

The best way someone can start standing up for themselves is to get comfortable with being alone. “People become really reliant on their friends,” Dahi says. “They sort of build their identity around these people and are scared of losing them.” You may feel like setting a boundary will make friends leave, and that fear might have you thinking, “I'd rather still have friends and be disrespected than be lonely.”

Instead of letting that take over, start embracing your alone time. “When you’re comfortable in your loneliness, you can set those boundaries and be OK with losing anyone who treats you terribly.” Licensed clinical psychologist Amanda Cassil, Ph.D. also believes spending some solo time is a great first step, because you’ll have a second to understand your feelings before sharing them with others.

“Give yourself time to reorient back to your body, your needs, and your pace of life between all of your commitments,” she says. Start simple by going on solo dates. Bring a book to a coffee shop or go to the movies by yourself.

Make Sure You’re Communicating Your Needs

Sometimes, all it takes is a conversation. If you don’t tell your friends something is upsetting you, they may never know. Because of this, Dahi says you need to “communicate, communicate, communicate.”

“It's almost better to overcommunicate than to not say anything,” she says. Even though having tough conversations can be nerve-racking, it’s worth it for the relationships you want to keep.

“Communication and respect is a two-way street,” Cassil says, so be open to listening and having grace for you and your friends during this process.

Set Boundaries & Keep Them

Once you set your boundaries or state your personal preferences, stick with them. “If you’re letting people cross your boundaries, what's the point of having them?” Dahi says. Letting just one incident gray the lines you set up will allow them to be muddled in the future. For example, if you order a plate of fries and don’t want to share them, the minute you let your friend get away with having one, they’ll go in for a second or third without question.

Standing your ground isn’t just a test for you, but for your friends, family members, and co-workers as well. Similar to FAFO — aka the “f*ck around, find out” mentality — this step is all about saying, “You think I'm bluffing, but I'm not.” “Some people won't believe you when you say you I won't speak to them ever again if they do this thing to you, and then they're shocked when you follow through,” she says.

Surround Yourself With Like-Minded People

It helps to start with a healthy base. That means hanging out with people who are aligned with you. “Morals are something that can’t be changed,” Dahi says. “You'll run into less of these issues if you just actively surround yourself with people who are like-minded.”

Dahi suggests taking a page out of Sabrina Carpenter’s book — she’s someone who has an enviable core group of besties and her own version of a villain era in 2021. At the time, Carpenter dealt with backlash over her relationship with Olivia Rodrigo’s ex Joshua Bassett. “She was obliterated,” Dahi says, but having friends like Joey King and Swift there to support her really helped. In turn, Carpenter was able to “be comedic about it” with songs like “Skin” and ”Because I Liked A Boy,” — and look at where the Grammy winner is now.

You also want to make sure your friends are willing to work with you and your boundaries. “Look for people who are open to learning, adapting, and working together for solutions,” Cassil says.

TL;DR: You’re Not On Your Own, Kid

You may not be able to switch into your villain era overnight, but learning to love your alone time, communicating your needs, finding a core group, and sticking with it is the first step in kicking people-pleasing habits. If you need some additional motivation, Dahi recommends listening to a playlist that includes Swift’s “I Can Do It With A Broken Heart,” “You're on Your Own, Kid,” and “Karma.”

Sources cited:

Sahar Dahi, a content creator from Toronto, Canada on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.

Amanda Cassil, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and author of The Self-Care Plan for the Highly Sensitive Person