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This Joe Biden Rumor Could Be What Wins Hillary Clinton The Presidency

by Alec MacDonald
REUTERS

Hillary is reportedly eyeing Joe Biden for her secretary of state, according to POLITICO.

And people are fucking pumped about this idea.

A familiar face from the Obama administration might be exactly what Hillary needs to sway the public even further toward her side.

Biden is now 'at the top of the internal short list' for Hillary's secretary of state.

Joe Biden has basically been in politics since he's had pubic hair (which, little known fact, has always been white).

Yet his career has culminated with him mostly just known as the “extremely chill, smiling guy” next to the first black president.

After all, vice presidents are largely symbolic figures (unless that vice president is named Dick Cheney, in which case “vice president” means “hand inside a puppet president's puppet anus").

The paradox here is vice presidents are often politicians at the very top of their field, who then basically have to take four to eight years off from hands-on policy work.

The most relevant duties of the vice president involve meeting with international leaders, and acting, along with the president, as the face of the United States.

This makes them ideal candidates for secretaries of state -- that is, if the next administration will have them.

Sources have told POLITICO Biden is now “at the top of the internal short list” for Hillary's secretary of state.

But POLITICO pointed out this mildly hilarious detail:

Neither Clinton nor her aides have yet told Biden. According to the source, they're strategizing about how to make the approach to the vice president.

Yeah, although considering there's now an article written about them wanting him to be secretary of state, the cat is pretty much out of the bag.

So now I'm just imagining Biden practicing his surprised face in front of the mirror.

'Me….? Secretary? Wow. What an honor. Thank you.' 'Oh cool! I wasn't expecting that!' 'LMAOOOO YOU WANT ME TO BE SECRETARY OF STATE BB????'

POLITICO's source, which they repeatedly mention is “familiar with transition planning," put it this way:

He'd be great, and they are spending a lot of time figuring out the best way to try to persuade him to do it if she wins.

You couldn't find a more qualified person for the job.

Before being vice president, Biden has served six terms in the senate, and during his vice presidency he's developed relationships with the world leaders.

He's extremely experienced when it comes to international politics. Even before his vice presidency, Joe Biden chaired the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.

And in the last few months, Biden has been working overtime to reassure America's allies we won't abandon NATO's allies, despite the fact Trump has publicly stated he believes the alliance might be more trouble than it's worth.

Yeah, basically, Biden has had to run around the Baltic region making sure people know that if Russia tries to invade, NATO won't, you know, abandon them.

The thing is, Clinton and Biden do have a pretty fundamentally different outlook when it comes to American intervention.

Hillary, as secretary of state, often preferred a stronger hand in the Middle East, whereas Biden preached caution and discretion.

So choosing him as her secretary of state might dilute criticisms over her particular brand of diplomacy on the world stage.

As for me, I'd just be excited to watch him eat ice cream in sunglasses for a few more years.

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Citations: POLITICO