10 Women Share Tips From Mom About Moving On After A Breakup & I Want To Hug Mine
Whether it’s about building your confidence before a job interview or recovering from a nasty cold, moms always seem to save the day with some pearls of wisdom. This can ring especially true when it comes to relationships. For example, we can all benefit from some tips from mom about moving on after a breakup. It makes sense, too: In all likelihood, your mom has not only been through a split (or six) in her lifetime, but she’s also had years of distance to reflect on those experiences. She has seen firsthand that it is possible to go through a devastating breakup and not only survive it — but also come out the other side stronger for it. Not only that, but your mom arguably knows you better than basically anyone else. She knows what you want, she knows what you deserve, she knows your biggest fears, she knows how you’ve been hurt in the past. That means she's in the position to give advice about moving on that’s tailored specifically to you.
Breakups are a particularly painful reality of dating, but if you’re lucky, your mom may be able to drop some truth bombs that make it easier to heal. Here’s what 10 women had to say about their mom’s best advice about moving on after a breakup.
The mom who gave a little push.
She just said there are respectful women out there for me but I need to put myself out more. She said ‘how can someone know you exist if you don’t speak up?’
The mom who offered some levity.
During my latest turbulent time, my mom told me her attitude towards such things was along the lines of, "If he wants to go chase someone else and doesn't want me, have fun and good riddance." I think her deeper meaning was that we deserve and should want someone who wants us, but the nonchalance with which she imparted her wisdom added a little bit of comedy to it for me, too.
The mom who encouraged her to set them free.
Sometimes letting someone go and creating distance shows how much love you actually have for each other. If it’s meant to be, they’ll be back.
— Lauren, 27
The mom who declared, 'That ain't the one, then.'
If someone can treat you like that after the time you spent together, then it's not the type of person you want to be with. He put on a good show, but at the end, he showed his true colors.
The mom who advised against self-medicating.
Drinking that bottle of wine may help you right now. But it’s not really a band-aid, it’s just delaying the pain.
— Erin, 29
The mom who warned against chasing.
Most of your relationships in life won’t work out. In fact, only one will. So, if someone doesn’t want to be with you, don’t chase after them — never chase, it won’t make them want you and it’ll make you look desperate. Who wants to be with someone who’s desperate? You got a great education and can take care of yourself, but when you find the right person, he’ll treat you better than a princess.
The mom who recommended higher standards.
To raise my standards and not put up with anyone who doesn’t meet them or stops meeting them. Also, to introduce them to her early on and that I don’t even have to tell her it’s a bf/someone i’m seeing, just a friend, and then she can see what he’s like and be a good judge of character.
The mom who discouraged dwelling on it.
Don’t let life pass you by by wallowing in sorrow — it’s too short.
The mom who provided an important reminder.
Honey, you told me you constantly had the urge to hurl him across the room. This was the right thing to do.
— Rachel, 28
Admit it: Sometimes you have a hard time coming to terms with when your mom is right — like when she insisted you bring a cardigan to that outdoor food festival and you were so glad you had it when it got chilly after sundown, or when she warned you against dating people who tip badly at restaurants (not a good look). It seems that we need our mom’s wisdom during our 20s more than ever.
Sometimes they can come in a tad harsh with the tough love, sometimes they can be super reassuring, and sometimes they can make you laugh just when you need it most. There's no doubt about it: Moms often give the best advice where breakups are concerned, because they manage to remind us that this, too, shall pass. They lift us up when we're at our lowest, they provide some much-needed levity, and they let us know that they understand what it feels like to have your heart trampled. They've lived and learned, and why shouldn't you reap the benefits of their revelations?
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