Relationships

How To Do The Stocking Stuffer, 2018's Hottest Holiday Sex Move

by Griffin Wynne

There is nothing more arousing to me than the idea of a loved one buying me C.O. Bigelow Rose Salves, lavender-infused jojoba oil, and other stocking-sized trinkets that I buy for myself regardless, but prefer to be gifted. Don't get it twisted, for Christmas celebrators, a stocking is not to be missed. And for those of us who ring in the winter with Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice or more — sometimes, the best gifts come in small (or unexpectedly large) packages. Whether you're waiting for Santa, latkes, or 2018 to finally end (Do you even remember the Olympics that happened earlier this year?!), this 2018 holiday sex position comes with as much anticipation.

"Hung by the chimney with care," or more explicitly: The Stocking Stuffer, is a playful way to show your boo you care, beyond a peck under the mistletoe. Of course, the Stocking Stuffer is the gift that keeps on giving. It's an immediate present for you body, and the linger hope of waking up to a bunch of carefully selected and thoughtful items that you over the course of the year have not-so-subtly mentioned wanting. Giving and receiving (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) can put you in the mood — after all, it is the holiday season.

Here's a how-to for the sexiest winter move, in the sheets and above your fireplace.

What is The Stocking Stuffer?

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To really get into the holiday spirit, envision a stocking hanging up against the fireplace. For this move, one partner will be the stocking, and one will be the mantel. (Of course if your party is more than a party of two, there can be as many stockings or mantles as needed.)

The "stocking" lies on the edge of chair or bed, with their legs in the air, around the "mantle's" neck. Hanging upside down, the "stocking" lifts their pelvis up toward the "mantel." The "mantel" then can penetrate the stocking with body parts or sex toys — whatever was discussed and consensually agreed upon. To really get into the spirit, all parties are wearing socks. It's the Stocking Stuffer after all, so all socks are highly encouraged.

Where to do it?

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Though it may help to have a surface for the "stocking" to lie back on, if you're Stick It level fit, by all means, hang upside-down around your partner, with your legs around their neck in the air (perhaps try it first near a gym mat or soft surface.) The Stocking Stuffer can be done on the kitchen table, in the bedroom, or by the literal mantle next to the literal stockings. Bonus points if you execute this next to a roaring fire.

When to do it?

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Because this move requires some vertical penetration, you may want to make sure all parties are sober, well-rested, and ready to move. Maybe pull a quickie before the office party or before eating all the cookies you left for Santa (Hey! This move works up quite the appetite.)

And what are some G-rated stocking stuffers my boo might like?

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I'm glad you asked! Perhaps the best way to end the Stocking Stuffer is with the type of stuffed stocking you can show your grandma. If you were wondering, yes you can still buy C.O. Bigelow products on the internet. Some other favs are Kiehl's mini products, or sample sizes of perfumes and colognes. Books make great stocking gifts, especially books by empowered women. What better way to end great sex than with a pack of face masks?

Whatever you celebrate this winter, may you celebrate yourself and your boo with a few new risqué sex moves. The Stocking Stuffer can be tried at home, and may even become your favorite little present. With any luck, Santa Clause won't be the only one coming to town this holiday season.