If you're new to dating or have repeatedly experienced disrespectful partners, you may be unsure of whether or not your boyfriend or girlfriend makes you feel bad about yourself. You could be unknowingly used to poor treatment, you may have seen that behavior modeled by other couples you know, or you may not be aware of the respect you deserve in a relationship. If your partner isn't treating you right, you shouldn't have to put up with it at all. However, there are plenty of reasons you might not recognize their bad behavior, which could further impede you from leaving.
I spoke with Jennifer B. Rhodes, PsyD, licensed psychologist, dating coach, and founder of Rapport Relationships, and Nicole Richardson, LPC-S, LMFT, to become aware of the signs your partner might be making you feel bad about yourself. If you see these signs echoed throughout your own relationship, you should consider addressing them with your partner first. Additionally, if the behavior continues, you might seek out therapy, or consider ending the relationship. The latter will take both time and courage, so explore what best suits you.
"Setting appropriate boundaries is necessary so you can stop choosing partners who cannot meet your emotional needs," Rhodes tells Elite Daily. It can sometimes be incredibly difficult to determine a person's emotional intelligence, so don't blame yourself if you've found yourself in a relationship that isn't meeting your needs. These are the signs that partner might be making you feel badly about yourself — so you can address their behavior now.
Your partner is very critical of you.
Richardson says that by criticizing you, your partner may be manipulating you into changing aspects of your personality in order to appease them. This tendency can be feeding off of a pre-existing insecurity you already had, like straightening your hair whenever you see them, or pretending you like different music in an attempt to appear more appealing.
"If the relationship is important to both of you, then you have to discuss how you are feeling," Richardson tells Elite Daily. Plus, your partner should love you for who you are — if you're hiding small parts of your personality, then perhaps it's time question the foundation of your relationship.
You have a hunch that your partner is more likely to judge you than support you.
If you're constantly prepared for your partner to get upset or angry with you for speaking your truth, you may have become accustomed to them routinely mistreating you, says Richardson. You shouldn't constantly feel like you're tip-toeing around your partner. A healthy relationship requires constant communication, with both people uplifting each other and offering support. If their behavior isn't something you're accustomed to, take a step back and evaluate your own behavior, before addressing your partner.
You want to hide things from your partner
If you've grown so tired of your partner treating you poorly, that you find yourself avoiding telling them things altogether, Richardson says that this could be a sign of maltreatment.
Richardson adds that if your feelings have escalated to this level, you need to address them with your partner.
"Keep in mind that your happiness cannot depend on another person," Richardson says. "While they cannot be your sole source of self esteem, they also should not be feeling or creating thoughts and feelings of inadequacy. If your partner cannot be part of the solution with you, it is time to evaluate if this relationship is sustainable."
It is possible that your partner is unaware that they're causing you to feel this way, so engage with them in an open and honest dialogue about how they are affecting you. Remember, you are fully deserving of the truest form of love — find that within yourself.
If your partner is making you feel bad about yourself, this behavior is not acceptable. Reach out to 1-800-799-7233, the National Domestic Violence Hotline, for help.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!
