Text Your Partner These Funny Jokes To Make Them LOL

Your partner likes puns? How pun-derful! Here are some of the silliest, dorkiest puns they haven’t heard. Just add a quick “Get it?” and a cute emoji, and you’ll make their day.

• "What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe."
• "How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer."
• "What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop."
• "What do you call an everyday potato? A commentator."
• “What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.”
• "What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter."
• "What did the atom say after losing an electron? 'I really gotta keep an ion them.'"
• "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."
• "Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie."
• "Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing."
• "How do astronomers organize a party? They planet."
• “What did the nut say while chasing the other nut? I’m a cashew.”
• “When does a joke become a dad joke? When it’s apparent.”

Though pick-up lines aren't usually utilized in committed relationships (and usually don't work anyway), these zingers are too good not to share. Who knows? Maybe they’ll even set the mood. Ranging from suggestive to raunchy, here are a few lines your partner will appreciate.

• "I know you're busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?"
• "If I had a garden, I'd put your tulips and my tulips together."
• "On a scale from 1 to 10, you're a 9... and I'm the 1 you need."
• "Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for."
• "Do you like sales? Because clothing is 100% off at my place."
• "I've had an off week, but seeing you always turns me on."
• "I wish you were my big toe. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house."
• "You have something on your butt. It's my eyes."
• “Do you ever get tired of running through my mind?”
• “Are you a supermarket sample? Because I wanna taste you again and again.”
• "Do you do carpeting? Because I'm looking for a deep shag."
• "'You're beautiful' has U in it, but 'quickie' has U and I together."
• “I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks.”
• “Are you Netflix? Because I could watch you for hours.”

Knock-knock jokes are short and sweet, and they'll allow your partner a chance to participate in the joke. (Though I definitely can't guarantee they'll be a willing participant.) For maximum corniness, try some of these cute jokes.

• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Olive." "Olive, who?" "Olive you so much."
• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Norma Lee." "Norma Lee, who?" "Norma Lee I don't say this, but I think I'm falling in love with you."
• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Honeydew." "Honeydew, who?" "Honeydew you know how much I love you?"
• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Juno." "Juno, who?" "Juno that you’re the love of my life?"
• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Lena." "Lena, who?" "Lena little closer so I can kiss you."
• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Ben." "Ben, who?" "Ben thinking about you all day."
• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Muffin." "Muffin, who?" "Muffin in this world can keep us apart."
• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Ivana." "Ivana, who?" "Ivana spend the rest of my life with you."
• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Snow." "Snow, who?" "Snow use, I just can’t stop thinking about you."
• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Anita." "Anita, who?" "Anita kiss from you."