If you're looking for a serious relationship, making sure you and the person you're dating are both on the same page can be tricky. The fear of coming on too strong or being "too eager" is real, which is why it can be tempting to wait a few weeks or months before making your intentions known. Although there's nothing wrong with keeping things casual until you're sure that becoming official is what you want, it's also important to recognize the signs your casual relationship is going nowhere, because you don't want to waste your time if you and your bae ultimately want different kinds of relationships.
According to licensed marriage and family therapist Nicole Richardson, there is no set amount of time that indicates it's time for things to get serious. However, if they're not making you a priority in the way that you want, then there's a chance they might not have plans to, regardless of labels. "There isn't a certain number of time or dates or milestones," Richardson previously told Elite Daily, about how long you should wait before bringing up exclusivity. "It's when your partner is showing up the way you need them to to feel safe."
If you're casually seeing someone and aren't sure where they stand, here are the signs they might not have a serious relationship in mind. Because if you're not satisfied with your current casual situation, then it might be time to move on.
01You Don't See Them Regularly.
"If someone dates you — and even sleeps with you — but they don’t try to see you regularly, it could be because they’re not really interested in a relationship with you," relationship and etiquette expert April Masini previously told Elite Daily. "They see you because they’re free and you’re free, but they don’t go out of their way to make sure to see you on a regular basis." Even though it can be hurtful to realize you're not a priority in someone's life, it's so much better to come to this conclusion sooner rather than later. This way, you can invest your time into dating someone who's on the same page as you.
02They Aren't Integrating You Into Their Life.
According to matchmaker and dating coach Karenna Alexander, if the person you're seeing isn't eager to bring you around their inner-circle, it could be because they aren't thinking about a future together. “[They] avoid having you meet [their] family and friends, and even pets,” Alexander previously told Elite Daily. "When a [someone] likes you, [they] want you to meet the people [they're] close to."
03You Only Meet Up At Night.
Needless to say, there's nothing wrong with going on a date once the sun goes down. However, if the person you're seeing always making plans last minute, or suggests you meet up late in the evening, there's a good chance they want to keep things in hookup territory. "Without any other communication or get-togethers during the day or early evening, they may just have a desire for a late-night, old-fashioned booty call," said Masini. "If someone only contacts you late at night, chances are the relationship is just about the casual hookup, and not a lot else."
04You're Not Their Plus One.
"When you don’t get invited to holiday work parties or family weddings, but they keep wanting to sleep with you — it could be because they might not think of you as something serious," explained Masini. If you're fine knowing that things probably won't get serious in the future, then it's completely fine to see each other casually. However, if you're secretly holding onto hope that they'll change their mind, then things could get problematic.
Ultimately, everyone deserves a partner, casual or otherwise, that is fulfilling their needs. You're completely worthy of the type of relationship you're looking for. So, if your casual relationship isn't giving you what you want, don't settle.
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