Compatibility is a tricky thing. While it's ideal to have at least a few things in common with your SO, you don't want to be too similar — that can be boring, and potentially even problematic. You probably know that looking at your personalities is a good place to start for evaluating a match. But do you know which Enneagram pairings are most compatible? These combos seem to strike a balance between sharing certain values and priorities while also challenging each other in a really beautiful way.
Let's get one thing straight first, though: There isn't just one type for everyone. That's because every individual's ability to flourish in a relationship depends largely on their own self-awareness. According to The Enneagram Institute, "No pairing of types is particularly blessed and no pairing is particularly doomed."
In other words, there's no type you need to consider as "off limits" for you. Any combination of Enneagram types can work (or not work), depending on their flexibility, open-mindedness and willingness to grow. Certain Enneagram types just seem to fit together effortlessly due to the way they complement each other's strengths and weaknesses. So, if you're on a search for your soul mate, here's the type you should keep a lookout for.
Six & Eight
Sixes and Eights are both highly responsible and dedicated, and to a degree, a bit distrustful of the world. What's remarkable about this pairing, though, is that each can help to quell each other's deepest fears. The Eight's unfailing loyalty and commitment can help the Six to feel less afraid of abandonment, while the Six's honesty and reliability can help the Eight not to doubt their partner's intentions.
Sixes greatly benefit from relationships that feel stable, and the Eight can definitely offer that. Moreover, the Six can count on the Eight to be upfront at all times (so they never have to get carried away with their anxious, worst-case-scenario thinking). Meanwhile, the Six can bring some warmth, sensitivity and playfulness to the situation, which helps the Eight to be a tad more vulnerable and show their softer side. As these two types build trust with each other, it's a bond that can only grow stronger with time.
Two & Three
Twos and Threes not only share some common interests, but they also have similar charisma, energy levels, and emotional needs. That makes this quite a powerhouse match.
One of the reasons why these types are so compatible is that they both give out validation freely and generously — which is important since both crave it more than some other types. Neither the Two nor Three will be left questioning the other's feelings in this partnership, nor will they feel unappreciated. Nurturing Twos give the highly ambitious Three all the support they need to succeed, while the goal-oriented Three can motivate and encourage the Two to start focusing on their own potential rather than using up all their energy on helping others.
Not only that, but both Twos and Threes are known for being ultra outgoing and charming, which means they can share and build a lively social life together while also networking like an unstoppable team.
One & Seven
Ones are on a constant quest to improve — they have lofty expectations for themselves, and their inner critic can get the best of them at times. They're well-matched with Enneagram types who can help them to loosen up, embrace any imperfections in life, and be a little less hard on themselves. And there's no type that better fits this description than the lighthearted, happy-go-lucky Seven.
This is a classic scenario of opposites attracting. Whereas Ones bring the diligence, organization, and attention to detail, Sevens bring the curiosity, sense of adventure, and spontaneity. Basically, the One can help the Seven to stay on track with their visions and goals (as they get distracted easily), while the Seven can inspire the One to have some fun once in a while, as well as maintain their idealistic nature even when they feel they've "failed."
Four & Nine
Type Fours are known for being sensitive and emotionally-driven — in fact, sometimes they can get a bit swept away by their feelings. That's why the Nine is such a fitting partner: With such an accommodating and non-judgmental nature, they welcome any of the Four's moods and emotional states, thus making them feel safe at all times. At the same time, they can help to draw some passion and intensity out of the Nine, who is typically more mellow and laid-back.
Fours can feel rejected somewhat easily, but fortunately, the Nine is so gentle and supportive that they can find a way to communicate about tricky subjects without ever hurting their feelings. What's more — the ultra-supportive Four can nudge the Nine to speak up for themselves more often, and be more forthcoming about their needs and desires (rather than suppressing them or resorting to passive-aggressiveness).
FYI — Fours are also one of the only Enneagrams that's believed to work well in a same-type relationship. According to the Enneagram Institute, this is because "Fours often feel misunderstood, yet feel a special bond of understanding with other Fours."
Five & One
Since Ones are pretty independent themselves (and often laser-focused on their careers), they are drawn to the Five's innate self-sufficiency. It allows them to keep doing their thing without feeling guilty or neglectful. Fives, meanwhile, appreciate the One's loyalty and dedication, as it helps to squash some of the skepticism and suspicion they tend to feel (thus allowing them to lower their guard). BTW, since both types are highly perceptive and always eager to learn, this partnership can bring about some profound discoveries.
Both Fives and Ones are pretty analytical-minded — they are practical in nature, and more focused on facts in any given situation. They also both value objectivity. These similarities can help in times of conflict because when sorting through an issue, they both prefer not to let feelings cloud their judgement. Since they both crave intellectual stimulation, they can easily find hobbies and activities to bond over in their free time. Perhaps most importantly, though, they are both incredibly aware and respectful of personal boundaries — which can allow them to build a rock-solid foundation from the very beginning.
