Relationships

Recite These 5 Mantras Before A First Date To Help Boost Your Confidence

by Rachel Shatto

First dates can be really nerve wracking — well, they are to me, anyway. Tell me if this sounds familiar: When you first plan the date, you feel some nerves, but they're the good kind! The "butterflies in your stomach, little spark of excitement" kind. But as the time of the date approaches, those butterflies go full Mothman in your belly and the excitement turns into full-on dread. If that's striking a cord, then it might be helpful to keep in mind some mantras to recite before a first date, to help combat the anxiety and help boost your confidence by totally changing up all your negative self-talk.

The key is to focus on mantras that will remind you of how amazing you really are, that reaffirm your self confidence, and that help you remember that you do have some control over the outcome of the night. Because the calmer and more confident you are, the better the date will likely go. (And even if it doesn't go well, the more you'll be able to just brush it off.) So if you've got a date coming up soon — or hope to — here are a few mantras to help you relax and have some fun.

01I'm amazing and fun.

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Well, you are. So it’s time to start claiming it! You are a unique and wonderful person, and when you find the right date, no doubt they'll agree. But the first step is believing it yourself. So, block out all the negative self-talk (aka: lies!) by simply reminding yourself of who you really are: amazing and very fun to be with.

02The only approval I need is my own.

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While it always feels great for your date to dig you, at the end of the day the only real opinion of you that matters is your own. Because no matter if the date goes well or not, there's one person you'll definitely be going home with, and that's you. If for some reason you aren’t each other’s cup of tea, it's not going to matter what they think of you after the date anyway. Besides, confidence is super sexy, so embracing and loving yourself will actually improve the chances others will too.

03I will trust my own intuition.

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This one is an important mantra that really fits into every situation in your life: a reminder to listen to your gut. If you feel unsafe or something seems off about the date, don’t ignore it for the sake of being polite. Or if you just aren’t feeling it in general, you don't have to stick around. Trust yourself, your intuition, and do what feels right for you.

04They are just as nervous as I am.

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Empathy is an excellent remedy for anxiety. This mantra will help you remember that you’re not the only one going on a first date tonight, and chances are, they're just as nervous as you are. Even if they aren’t, it’s a good way to remind yourself that your date is only human, and therefore no reason to be intimidated.

05I can end the date and leave whenever I want.

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When you're nervous, simply knowing you can opt out at any time can really turn the anxiety down a notch. And the reality is that you can leave whenever you want — no matter if you aren’t having good time, aren’t connecting with your date, or you're just ready to call it a night. That is your prerogative, and sometimes it’s soothing to remind yourself of that simple fact.

It’s easy to get nervous before a first date, but by focusing your thoughts in a positive and confidence-boosting way, it can really help you calm the anxiety and even (gasp!) enjoy yourself!