When it comes to finding a date using dating apps, it can often feel like most users are just trying to hookup. (Spoiler: That isn't always the case!) And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with no-strings-attached hookups, if you're on the hunt for something a little more meaningful, then that might require a little bit of patience and dedication to sifting through matches you know you're not compatible with. It may also be a good idea to have a selection of rejection texts for dating app matches who just want to hookup, in your back pocket. Although it may be tempting to mention you're not looking for a hookup directly on your profile, according to online dating coach and dating profile writer Eric Resnick, this might not be as effective as you think.
"Writing that you aren't looking for a hookup is defensive language," Resnick previously told Elite Daily. "It makes you sound like you aren't going to trust the intentions of anyone who contacts you, regardless of what they may actually be." That said, it's still possible to use your profile to highlight the fact that you're interested in something less casual. "If you aren't looking for a hookup, don't talk about hookups," said Resnick. "Talk about the type of person you want to meet and the type of relationship you want to find. Don't say you are looking for someone to rush you down the aisle or to have a baby with, but be honest about the type of relationship you're looking for." Resnick noted that this still might not keep every person who's looking for easy sex from contacting you, so here are some texts to send a match who offers you a hookup.
01"I'm Getting The Feeling You're Just Looking For A Casual Hookup. TBH, I'm Looking For More Than That, But Good Luck With Your Search!"
Sometimes it's best to be as honest as possible the moment you realize they're looking for a casual tryst. Even though this might be disappointing, wishing them well is a great way to show maturity.
02"You're Definitely My Type, But I'm Not Looking For Casual Sex. It's Been Nice Chatting With You, But I Don't Think We're Looking For The Same Type Of Relationship."
Few things are worse than matching with someone who seems like your dream bae on paper (or profile, in this case), only to find they're not looking for a relationship. Being direct is a great way to show someone you know exactly what you want. This also gives them a chance to clarify their intentions if they came on too strong, but actually are interested in dating.
03"I'm More Interested In Getting To Know Someone On A Deeper Level At The Moment. If I'm Honest, It Doesn't Seem Like You're On The Same Page."
Again, this is an example of a rejection text that leaves a bit of room for your match to rethink their approach and come back with a more solid date plan other than inviting you over for "drinks". Remember, not everyone assumes hooking up on the first date means there's no relationship potential. You absolutely can end up dating someone who you hook up with on the first date. That said, it's also important to make it clear that you're not on that same wavelength.
04"Casual Hookups Aren't Really My Thing. That Said, I Hope You Find What You're Looking For."
If hookups aren't your thing, then just be honest. You shouldn't pretend to be cool with something to score a date, only to confirm in-person that they're just looking for something casual.
05"Thanks, But No Thanks. Bye."
Unfortunately, some dating app matches don't even test the waters to see if you'd be interested in casual sex. Instead, they decide to get right down to business. If someone you're texting sends you any unsolicited sexual material that you aren't into, be it a text or a nude, then feel free to put the sass on full blast, folks.
When you're looking for a relationship, or even just for a consistent date, dodging booty calls can quickly become exhausting. So, the best thing you can do is be direct as soon as a match makes it clear what they're looking for. Keep swiping until you find what you want, and what you know you deserve.
