5 Hacks For Avoiding Loneliness When All Your Friends Are Coupled Up & You're Not
If you're single and all of your friends are coupled up, you could easily feel lonely at times. Your friends are off with their partners, while you don't have that same kind of person in your life. Things you used to do with your friends, like trivia nights, movie nights, and grabbing quick lunches during class or work breaks, could maybe dwindle down in number due to your friends spending more time with their significant others. Tips for avoiding loneliness when you're the only single friend could be helpful, especially since you could feel isolated due to the change in your social life.
I spoke with Dr. Darcy Sterling, Tinder’s Dating and Relationship Trend Expert, about tips for feeling less lonely when your friends all suddenly couple up. In addition to it being cuffing season, and you feeling like you should be settling down, it could be even harder once you're actually surrounded by tons of relationships but are single yourself. Being the only single one doesn't have to be a lonely, sad experience. You could actually enjoy it. Here are Sterling's tips to avoid loneliness when your friends are in relationships.
Everything isn't always what it seems.
You may feel spikes of jealousy in addition to being more lonely now that your friends are in relationships, but it helps to remind yourself that you're only seeing what they allow you to see. Everything isn't sunshine and daisies all the time.
"Remember that the version you’re seeing of your friends is a curated version of them," Sterling tells Elite Daily. "We never know what’s going in someone else’s relationship. If they are truly happy in their relationship, it’s a result of the hard work that they’ve both put into themselves (as individuals) and into the relationship."
Be self-aware about your feelings.
Take the more free time you have to do some self-reflection and look inward to yourself.
"Admit that you are lonely and allow yourself to feel it without adding a negative narrative to it," Sterling says. "And it will eventually begin to dissipate. Feelings only grow and fester when you add to it."
Validate those feelings.
Remind yourself that it's OK to feel the way you do, and maybe consider other sources for the loneliness.
"Take a minute to think about where the feeling of loneliness is coming from.," she says. "Has something recently happened to cause it? A move? New job? Sudden breakup? Write down why it makes sense that you would that you would feel lonely at the moment. Feelings don’t go away on will, but when you truly validate and normalize them, they will not linger!"
Make a plan and have fun with it.
There's a lot of freedom that comes with being single, and you should absolutely be taking advantage of it. Turn the tables around and seek out advice and support from your coupled-up friends for how you should be enjoying this time in your life.
"Literally, ask your coupled friends the following question, 'If you could spend one weekend as a single person without any consequences, what would you do?'" she says.
Use that advice as a guideline for inspiration of what you should do to have fun during this period in your life. Follow your heart, enjoy experiencing time by yourself, and maybe you'll even meet new friends while doing these activities.
Then... YOLO.
OK, even if "YOLO" is years old at this point, and definitely no longer part of like, the millennial modern lexicon, it's still a good mentality to have. After you seek out some advice on how you should actually enjoy your single life, go out and do it.
"The more you commit to doing, the more fulfilled you’ll feel because the more you’ll have to discover about yourself and how much fun you can actually have alone without feeling lonely," Sterling says. "In fact, according to Tinder’s 'Single, Not Sorry' survey, more than half of single 18- to 25-year-olds feel that they themselves are more fun as a result of their single status. Embrace it!"
So go out, or stay in, and do the things you want to do while you're not in a relationship. It's your time to shine!
