I know I'm not the only one who has said, "Let's still be friends," and not really meant it. After all, it's easier to pretend that there's a chance of friendship after a relationship fails to launch — or at least it's easier than saying, "I'd really rather not see you again, romantically or otherwise." But is it really worth it? If you're in need of some totally honest rejection texts to send if staying friends is just about the last thing you want to do, then I have a few suggestions for you.
It may not be anything personal. Bad dates happen, and not having chemistry with a person doesn't make them (or you!) a bad person. However, not feeling a spark should never make you feel indebted to stay friends with a date, especially if you weren't even friends to begin with. Chances are that — if my dinner date at Chili's ended with me feeling that I would rather eat a hot chili pepper than ask for a second date — I won't be inviting that person to my birthday party anytime soon. And that's fine. If you have no intention of "staying friends" after a lackluster date, then try sending one of these texts:
01"I'm glad I got the chance to know you better, but I didn't feel a real connection between us."
Forget feeling a "spark" — if you felt nothing at all, it's OK to tell your date know that. The romantic chemistry may not be there, but if you don't even feel any platonic chemistry, let your date know rather than allowing them to believe that you have an interest in any sort of relationship.
02"I appreciate that you took the time to hang out with me. Unfortunately, it didn't feel like a good match, but I really wish you the best."
If you're looking for an unambiguous (but still polite) way to say, "Let's not be friends," a cordial adieu works nicely. By wishing your date the best, you make clear that your relationship ends here, but you don't harbor any ill will.
03"I'm going to be honest and tell you that our date didn't feel right to me. It's nothing personal — we simply didn't click, and I don't think it would make sense for us to hang out again."
When it comes to rejecting a date, honesty is the best policy, and believe it or not, you can be honest without being cruel or disrespectful. I have a feeling that your date would rather be told, "Thanks, but no thanks" than strung along (or, worse, ghosted).
04"Thanks so much for getting dinner with me. I wish I felt differently, but I don't think we really hit it off."
Rather than apologizing for not feeling differently, thank your date for the time they invested in getting to know you. You gave it a shot and it didn't work out, but you shouldn't feel any need to say sorry for that (or offer friendship as compensation).
05"You seem like a really cool person, so I'll be straightforward and say that I don't see a future for us."
Sometimes you just have to rip off the Band-Aid. Rather than wasting both their time and your own, cut to the chase and say that you don't have any interest in continuing to spend time together, even if it's just in a platonic sense.
06"Though I have no regrets about going on our date, I don’t see this going in the direction of a relationship of any kind."
Don't leave any wiggle room for misunderstanding. If you don't want a relationship with your date, you don't need to develop one — but you do need to make sure they know that.
07
Dating is all about trying to find a match, and more often than not, it's not going to work out. Why keep all those one-time failed dates in your contacts list? Real friendships aren't developed out of guilt, so if you don't see a future after your date, let it be known and let your date move on.
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