Hooking up is like eating ice cream in July. At first, it's titillating — especially if you haven't had soft-serve since last August. Then, the cones start to become a bit of a habit of indulgence, which is also totally great and fun. Eventually, though, the ice cream goes from being a blast to being sticky and monotonous. You're going through the motions of shoveling the mint chip directly into your mouth from the Talenti jar, but it's not so fun anymore. The signs you're not into hookups are not unlike the stomachaches that signal you've had too much ice cream. (Or maybe I'm just hungry...)
Even if you're not hooking up with the same person time after time, the whole process of mashing bodies — not feelings — together can get old. If your relationship status has been "casually hooking up because I feel like it," for some time, it's good to consider if you really still feel like it. Casual flings can become disenchanting quicker than summer turns into back-to-school season.
As people, our wants and needs change all of the time. Sometimes, these what we are looking for can change for no particular reason at all, so it's good to check in with yourself about what you're in the mood for these days. Craving a more substantial relationship? A bunch of dating without hooking up? Or not sure yet that you're truly over hooking up? Fear not, because I've got you covered. Here are some signs you're just not into hooking up these days and could use a break.
01You feel a little bit sad.
You know that tiny empty feeling you get after another morning waking up with Chad, knowing he's not going to ask you if you're going to grab breakfast and you don't even want him to? If you're not stoked after a night of casual fun, think about if maybe you're just going through the motions, and want something a little more substantial. Or maybe, nothing at all right now.
02You admire your friends' relationships.
There's the feeling of wanting a partner because all of your friends are busy on Friday nights lately, and then there's the feeling of actually watching two friends who are dating argue or make up or do whatever sweet but real couple behavior with each other and go, "I want that." You'll know it in your gut — if you see something you like and it happens to be couple-adjacent, you're probably over the casual hookups.
03Hookups are cramping your schedule.
If you're exhausted by too many Wednesday nights spent up way too late watching Netflix, but also mostly doing the dirty, maybe hooking up is too much for you right now. Would you rather have spent your night working out, or starting a new project for yourself? Cool, you're also probably over the hookup life.
04You groan when your FWB texts you.
Remember that cutie with the excellent kissing skills whose texts you to make you fist-pump? If now, when you see a text from them asking if you're down to chill, you roll your eyes instead, you're probably looking for something a bit more serious.
05You just want to go out for dinner.
Are you craving a proper dinner or movie date complete with hand-holding and an awkward kiss goodnight? Cool, you're definitely over casual hooking up for now.
06You want something more from your hookup.
If you're finding that there's one casual hookup you're not feeling so casual about any more, and you only really want to spend time with that person, then you might actually be catching some feels. Embrace them! Feels are a beautiful part of being a human. But don't just continue to be "chill" about hooking up — if you feel something, say something! It may not yield the results you want, but at least you'll know where your hookup stands. Plus, what if it does go your way? Cheers to honesty, and recognizing when hooking up just isn't for you at the moment.
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