6 Totally Normal Things Everyone Thinks The First Time They Say "I Love You," So Relax
There's nothing quite like being in love. I mean, there's a reason there are so many books, movies, and songs about it. But if you're falling in love and you're getting ready to let your partner know, you might be feeling a little intimidated by your feels. No need to worry yourself, dear reader, because the following things everyone thinks when they say "I love you" for the first time will show you there's nothing wrong with what's going through your head right now — and that you're far from the first person to freak over saying the L-word.
Being in a happy, healthy relationship is exciting, and if you're feeling the love, then that's great. But if you're anything like me, then all then thoughts running through your head before saying those three little words might have you hyperventilating. You're probably feeling anxious, excited, or maybe even a little silly. But whatever the case, I can assure you it's totally normal.
If you still don't believe me, picture this: I told my now-fiancé I loved him for the first time with a Bitmoji. Yes, you read that correctly. I got so nervous, and overthought it so much, that I just blurted it with a Bitmoji. It's funny now, but if you want to avoid the embarrassment I felt then, read on. Remember: There's no wrong way to say "I love you"!
01"Is this too soon?"
When you're in love, all the expectations of what saying it is supposed to look like go out the door. There's no exact timeline for big milestones, and that's OK. If you're feeling like you love this person, then follow your heart. But, if you're still concerned that it's too soon, then take heed of the advice dating and relationship expert Meredith Golden gave Elite Daily.
"[One month is] not too soon if you spend every single day together for an entire month," Golden said. "That's long enough to fall in love and to verbally express it." So don't worry about timing. If it's right, it's right.
02"Do they love me back?"
Another huge, looming question in your head might be whether or not bae will say it back. It's a fair cause for concern, even if you're completely certain that your significant other feels the same way. "In general, whoever says it first is in a vulnerable position," Golden said. "If you know that you are loved, it’s easier to reciprocate the sentiment."
03"Am I doing the right thing by following my gut?"
If you're going to say those words to someone, and they haven't said them to you yet (and even if they have!), then you're taking a big step. For the most part, you're going to be following your gut and your instincts, which can be scary. But, according to Golden, following what you feel is the best thing you can do.
"Ultimately, you know when it feels right," Golden said. "If you see yourself having a future with someone, the relationship is healthy, communication is easy, chemistry is stellar, and you’re monogamous, all signs point to a happy, healthy, and committed relationship warranting the three words." Just do what feels right. Chances are, it'll all work out.
04"Am I going to make a fool of myself?"
Listen, we're all adults here. And I don't think any adult human with a shred of decency would make fun of anyone else for expressing their feelings. But I think there will always be a part of us that's worried we'll get laughed at like we're back in second grade. But according to the host of the breakup BOOST podcast Trina Leckie, you shouldn't let that fear stop you.
"I don’t think people should only tell someone this if they feel as though they are guaranteed to hear it back," Leckie told Elite Daily. "It takes courage to show your feelings, and the world needs more courage!"
Go for it! If your partner cares about you, they definitely shouldn't make fun of you for expressing yourself.
05"Am I being rational about this?"
Love is incredible and inexplicable. But if you're in love and steadying yourself to tell that special someone, you might worry you aren't thinking this thing through. According to Leckie, that's not a good move.
"I think the best thing to do when it comes to this is not to overthink it," Leckie said. "If you feel like you want to scream it from the rooftops, that's a good indication of a good time to say it because it shows how excited you are to tell that person [and everyone else] how you feel about them."
Again, follow your heart and go for it. Even if they don't say it back, you'll have it off your chest and feel so much better.
06"Do I really mean it?"
It's totally possible to get caught up in the emotions of a relationship and end up saying or doing things that you regret. So follow your heart, but also take a minute to reflect on why you love this person. According to matchmaker Brooke Wise, it's important to take a minute to evaluate your feelings.
"There is something to be said for people who just say it, and then, their actions don't reflect it," Wise told Elite Daily. "Be confident and sure whether it's something you feel and whether it is genuine. [Your partner] might be more conservative and want to wait until there isn't a shadow of a doubt," and that's totally OK. You just want to make certain that you're sure, too.
Being in love is amazing, and no matter how it happens, your love story is perfect in its own way. You're telling bae you love them so that they know, but you're also doing it for yourself. Denying yourself the relief of expressing such a strong emotion isn't fair to you. Just relax, follow your heart, and speak honestly. You will love the feeling of not holding back, promise.
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