Empty cups and dirty wine glasses line your floor between the scattered remnants of packing material from an impromptu #selfcare Lush shopping spree. A $30 soy candle with your astrology sign on it burns in the background as you cycle between re-downloading and deleting Tinder, Postmate coffee to your house, and debate filling in your eyebrows more or moving to Uruguay. There are many stages of a relationship ending and trust me — we've all been there. Perhaps that's why hearing breakup advice from celebrities can be a sort of light at the end of that 2011 Adele-themed tunnel. Because apart from the glamour squads and red carpet events — even celebrities deal with heartbreak, transition, and moving on from love — and they do so with lights and cameras in their pre-Facetuned faces.
Although your personal healing may change based on how long you dated your ex or how painful the breakup was, there are often some universal steps when it comes to recovering from heartbreak — like taking lots of baths, debating major hair changes, and eventually listening to "Freakum Dress" until you feel ready to put on a pair of pants with a fly.
Here's some amazing breakup advice from celebrities who have been through it all.
Think Of Heartbreak As A Gift
Perhaps the only not-polarizing thing left on this planet, goddess Rihanna gave some heartwarming breakup advice to a fan via Twitter DMs (I know, I'm aroused thinking about it).
"Just believe that the heartbreak was a gift in itself. Cry if you have to, but it won't be forever! You will find love again, and it will be even more beautiful! In the meantime enjoy all that you are!!!!"
In the wake of a breakup, seeing your heartbreak as a gift can feel impossible. Yet, as the iconic singer will attest, every relationship is a lesson, and in times of pain you'll learn more about yourself than you ever knew you could. You'll even see how strong you are, which is super beautiful in a black-and-white-movie-with-subtitles-that-you-didn't-really-understand-but-your-artsy-friend-wanted-to-watch kind of way.
Know That New Love Will Come
A particularly poignant memory: parting with a high school boyfriend while cry-singing to "Someone Like You" as I drove my mom's 2006 Honda Pilot home from cross-country practice. To me and many others, Adele is a sort of breakup bard. And if you haven't given a recent listen to "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)" IDK, you should? In a 2015 interview, the British bombshell told The Guardian:
"It sounds obvious, but I think you only learn to love again when you fall in love again. [It] puts me in a position where I can finally reach out a hand to the ex. Let him know I’m over it."
Of course, finding new love doesn't have the mean finding a new boo. Post-breakup can be a wonderful time to travel somewhere new, try out a hobby you've always been interested in, or spend some time with friends and family. Love is all around you, and engulfing yourself can be super healing after a relationship ends.
Learn To Feel Yourself
My hatred of the Yankees aside, Jennifer Lopez is a flawless angel and newlyish engaged to Alex Rodriguez. Of course, this singer/dancer/actor/icon has been through her fair share of heartbreak before getting a ring (that's the size of a small island, BTW). When it comes to healing from a breakup, the superstar told Glamour, the most important thing is being kind and caring to yourself.
"You've got to love yourself first. You've got to be OK on your own before you're OK with someone else. You've got to value yourself and know that you're worth everything. And until you value yourself enough and love yourself enough to know that, you can’t really have a healthy relationship."
Learning to be OK on your own looks different for everyone. Maybe for you, it's learning how to take yourself out on a dream date or repeating some daily affirmations in a mirror. No matter what it looks like, feeling yourself can be a major step in healing from heartbreak.
Don't Run From The Pain
Say what you will about the Kardashians, but let the record show that they have been through a lot, in a super public way. When it comes to healing from a breakup, Khloe Kardashian took to Twitter to share her biggest piece of advice.
"Let it hurt, don't pretend it doesn't. Then brush yourself off, realize it's his loss, and move on up!! When a relationship ends ur heart doesn't let go just like that. U did what u had to do for u! You'll be OK soon."
When you're hurting, it's natural to feel a sort of pressure to pretend like everything is fine. You may have school work and work-work, friends and family to see, social obligations, and big plans. But as Khloe shares, when healing from a breakup, it's OK to time some time and space for you. Call in sick, cancel dinner, get a mani. You know what you need to do in order to heal.
Be Good To Yourself And By Yourself
Far from "Break Up with Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored" when it comes to "I Got Broken Up With And I'm Sad," Ariana Grande has some super real advice for heartbreak. In an interview with V Magazine, the pop singer reminded fans that they can be happy on their own.
"I'm not going to pretend I have great breakup advice. It's hard. You'll be fine. You don't need anyone. It's nice to have someone that makes you happy, but it's nice to be happy on your own as well. You don't need to depend on another person for your happiness. You can make each other glow, but you're still completely capable, sufficient, and beautiful, and can be happy on your own."
While dating one person can be fun and special, it's also OK to be single, see a few people, or take some major time for yourself. You are a shining star, and after the breakup blues wear off, you'll be gracing the night sky, brighter than ever.
Don't Rush Into Big Changes
From thinking about switching jobs and dreaming about moving, to looking at clogs for three hours on the internet, breakups can be the inspiration for some major changes. Of course, a common post-breakup change is often a major hairstyle swap. As designer, writer, and style icon Alexa Chung, told Stylist, it can be worthwhile to take a second before reaching for the scissors or hair dye.
"Hair is so linked to how we feel, and everyone goes for something radical after a breakup, but my advice is not to touch your hair. It’s the first thing women do, but you’re not in a fit state to make long-term decisions. You’ll have to spend four years growing it out. Buy a lipstick instead. Go and kiss loads of other people, but don’t touch your hair."
Of course, if you need a hair change have at it! Chopping your locks or going for a new color can be totally liberating and exciting, and sometimes you need a little push (like a relationship ending) to make a big change. But if you're feeling unsettled and want to do something different with your appearance, changing your makeup or nail color can be less of a commitment.
Don't Be Afraid To Delete Their Number Or Unfollow Them
Obviously, an article about celebrities and breakups couldn't not include Taylor Swift. Apart from her own personal monument of breakup songs, the singer has even made a "Moving On" playlist for fans (that doesn't include her own tunes) to further inspire healing from heartbreak. On Instagram, the singer shared that sometimes the best breakup advice can be hitting "Block".
"I know it’s hard, but I think it’s time to utilize the ‘block’ feature on your phone. Don’t give him the chance to say more damaging things. There is nothing wrong with avoiding people who hurt you. You fell in love, no games. Now you’re saying goodbye with no games. Protect yourself, please. I’m so sorry this happened."
If you're not super ready to fully "Block" an ex-boo, deleting their number (literally my brand) or unfollowing them from social media can be a really great step in starting to heal. Of course, leaving your phone at home for a night or turning it off for a few hours a day can be a great way to disconnect as well.
No matter how long you dated your ex, or how painful the breakup was, you are going to get over it. You will heal, you will date again (if you want to!), and you will be happier than you ever knew you could be. There's no way around it — breakups suck. But knowing that everyone has been through it (heck, even celebrities) can be a super helpful way to embrace all the love that's around you and eventually start to heal.
