There is a cliche that goes around about realizing you’re with the person you’re meant to be with, and it’s that when you know, you know. But here's the thing: Cliche or not, it’s totally true. When you're with the right person, something happens on a deeper level. There is a peace and a comfort and a rightness that just seems to happen on its own. And when it happens, you realize that all that forcing you did with other people who you really liked but just seemed to stall out with, just meant they were not the right person for you — and that's OK, because there is someone else who is.
Sometimes, the realization that you're finally with the right person can feel like it came out of nowhere. One moment you're going along in the relationship, and the next, you look over and realize you want to spend your life with that person. But while it may seem like it happened suddenly, the reality is that you've gone through a handful of phases to get to that point, including dozens of tests that relationships have to hurdle over to be successful. But because the relationship has moved along so smoothly and naturally, you may not have even noted each of these relationship level signposts as you blew by them.
01It just feels different than everything else that came before.
Sure, you’ve been in love before, and definitely in lust, but somehow this relationship just feels different. You feel closer, safer, and like it just works. There is a balance to the relationship, where each of you feels as strongly about the other, and one person isn’t doing all the work to keep the relationship on track. And don’t tell your squad, but they have become your best friend.
02You feel like your best self when you're with them.
When you're with this person, you feel like you really are being your best self. You're able to be real and not feel self conscious. You are happy and relaxed and at peace. There is no performing, or trying hard to please the other person. There also isn't that feeling like you need to help improve or shape the other person, because you both bring out the best in each other and accept each other's occasional shortcomings.
03You’ve seen each other at your worst, but you still like one another.
Speaking of shortcomings, on the occasion where we aren’t our best selves (far, far from it), you still like each other. You don't have to keep up a facade for fear that they won’t like the real you, farts and all. (It’s not really love until you can fart in front of them with gusto — or at least without shame). And perhaps even more importantly, you've known each other long enough that you’ve seen them at their worst and it’s something you can embrace.
04Your friends and family love them.
They’ve passed the friends and family test. The people who love you should want what’s best for you, and oftentimes they can see what your heart-shaped feelings can obscure. So, if they've met your bae and are giving them the green light, you can feel even more secure that what you're feeling is the real deal.
05They are there for you through the hard times.
One of the clearest ways to know if you're with the right person is to weather some hard times together. You don't really know if this is the person you want to spend your life with before you know how they handle the bad days (or weeks, or months). You’ll know for sure they are the right one when not only are they the first person you turn to in times of trouble, but they are the first person to be there without you even having to ask.
06They feel like home.
Home is a feeling, and when you realize that your SO gives you that feeling of safety, security, and love, then you may have just found the one.
07You can picture a future with them.
When you imagine your future, your partner has started to make cameo appearances. Before, you only thought of how your plans and decisions would affect you, but now you're starting to take your SO into consideration, too. When you picture yourself five years down the line, you can imagine a scenario where they are by your side, and it doesn't freak you out. In fact, it sounds pretty great.
08You can’t picture a future without them.
The final phase of realizing that you are with the person you are meant to be with is when you come to the understanding that they are your future. You are a team, a package deal, and whatever future you make will be one that the two of you make together. Bon voyage!
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