8 Things Every Couple Who Shares A Bathroom Should Do
While doing a routine internet browse recently, I was stopped in my tracks by the realness that is this Mike and Kat video. IYKYK, but if you don’t, comedian Kat impersonates her husband Mike doing the annoying things that couples are all too familiar with, including putting the toilet paper roll on the wrong way. Speaking of, can we all finally agree that it should roll forward? Anyone who feels differently can kindly see themselves out of my life forever.
If you couldn't tell, this toilet paper scenario struck a chord with me. As a serial toilet paper roll re-positioner, I’ve turned over the rolls in hotel rooms, my in-laws' house (love you, Lisa and Brian!), my Nana’s, and even random restaurants (usually there’s alcohol involved). It’s not everyone else’s fault they’re doing it wrong, and I just want to help them see the light. I truly wish I were joking.
As one half of a couple who’s shared a bathroom for roughly six years — the last of which included nine months of quarantining in our 800-square-foot apartment — I can attest that the toilet paper roll is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to proper etiquette. Elite Daily teamed up with Charmin, the brand responsible for making you feel rich as hell every time you wipe, to bring you a firsthand list of bathroom-sharing tips that make it easier for couples to “roll together” (see what I did there?). Shall we?
1. Shut The Door
Nobody wants to listen to your personal orchestra of bodily functions. We should all have stage fright. All of us.
2. Apologize
You know what you just did in there, so you might as well get that “Wow, my bad” out of the way as soon as possible. Shaming yourself will cushion your fall from grace, I promise.
3. Respect Bubble Bath Boundaries
If one of you needs to soak away the work week for two hours while listening to a soothing murder podcast, the other one has gotta deal. Hey, I don’t make the rules — I just follow them.
4. Stake Your Claim To Prime Real Estate Right Away
You could stealthily place your bathroom things all up in the crevices of your partner’s stuff until they have no choice but to surrender, or you could just straight up say, “Yo, I have a lot of bathroom baggage, and I’m gonna need you to make some space, babe.”
5. Share Towel-Washing Duty
Smelly. Towels. Suck. Avoid that atrocity by agreeing on a towel expiration date (two showers?) and take turns getting your laundry on. Is it just me or is sharing responsibilities weirdly sexy?
6. Come Up With A Secret Knock
You know those times where you or your boo is 15 minutes deep into scrolling their feed while seated on le throne? The person not on the commode is going to be annoyed. Come up with a cute little knock that says, “This is my passive-aggressive way to tell you that I’m on to you and this is your warning that you gotta get up….babe.”
7. Get Really, Really Comfy Encountering Each Other’s Hair
Blobs of hairy artwork on the shower wall aren’t ideal, but they are inevitable. The same goes for those rogue back and chest hairs that seem to be lurking on every surface of the bathroom. Welcome to your future! Isn’t it cute here?
8. Agree That Quality TP Really Freaking Matters
Nothing makes me ready to bicker over something petty faster than getting stuck using flimsy sheets that do the bare minimum. With Charmin, a little is all you need to help you enjoy the go, and most important, to save your partner from your roll wrath.
This post is sponsored by Charmin.
