Next Time You See A Cutie At The Laundromat, Try These 9 Pickup Lines
Going to the laundromat is one of those things that I always put off as long as humanly possible. So of course by the time I get around to it I'm lugging a massive pile of laundry, which is heavy, inconvenient, and takes forever to get through. It's terrible, hence the procrastination, and thus the cycle (pun intended) continues. Yes, laundry day sucks — that is, unless there's someone around to get your flirt on with. In that case, you might want to have a few fun pickup lines to try at the laundromat to get the party started.
To me, the best pickup lines are the bad ones — and I mean bad. I like them to be cheesy, cheeky, and guaranteed to make me groan. If anyone comes at me with anything else, it just seems too slick and gives me an automatic f***boy vibe. Make me laugh with a dad joke, though, and we might be practicing making babies by the end of the night. So with that in mind, and with a pre-apology for the shamefully bad jokes that are about to follow, here are some "Me Approved™" pickup lines to take for a spin next time you're at the laundromat.
01“Hey, nice folding technique! But I’d rather see those clothes crumpled on your floor.”
This one puts a laundromat spin on the old classic “nice shirt, it would look better on my floor” line. But don't call it a rip-off, call it a remix. And then call me later because I am into it.
02“Finally! Looks like my 'Rinse Charming' has arrived.”
Hey, I warned you some of these were going to be really, really bad. But here’s the deal: Deliver this with a smile and enough charm and it will work. And hey, if it doesn't, you're just stuck there for hours together in uncomfortable silence! NBD.
03"Let’s go back to my place and I’ll clean your lint trap."
This line sounds suggestive enough that it's safe to assume they will easily pick up what you’re putting down. If they go with it, well, then improvise. Who knows? “Cleaning your lint trap” may even become your signature move.
04"Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
Aww, they wish. But this is an easy in, even if you're now doing laundry perched atop a throne of lies — flattering white lies that might make for a between-cycles makeout sesh, but lies nonetheless.
05"Hey… Spin here often?" *Wink*
Again, confidence is key. The only way to pull off pickup lines is to just own it say it with a twinkle in your eye. Besides, anyone who's too cool to appreciate a high quality dad joke is not the one, anyway.
06"Wanna snuggle… er I mean, want some Snuggle?"
This one requires a prop — it’s not going to work if all you have is a bottle of Tide. However, if you happen to see the same hottie at the laundromat every week, it might be worth picking up some Snuggle-brand soap just for the occasion. If it doesn't work, at least your clothes will hold you more gently through the long cold nights.
07"They say this stuff makes clothes really soft. Want to come over and have a feel?"
Fortune favors the bold, so if you’re feeling it, go on and let them know.
08"Don’t bother ironing those sheets, they’re just going to get wrinkled when we get back to your place anyway."
Listen, ironing sheets is a lot of work, so if you're planning to put some serious wrinkles in their sheets then do them the courtesy of letting them know not to bother — and instead use all that energy on you.
09"Is that machine rocking giving you any ideas?"
Alternative line: "Do come a knockin’ when this machine's a-rockin’."
Suddenly feeling like today is a great day to do some laundry? Go for it. Go get those clothes clean — and maybe get a little dirty yourself, if ya know what I’m sayin'.
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