8 People Explain Why They Didn't Stay With Their Soulmate, & I'm Crying
The concept of soulmates is a controversial conversation topic. Some people feel like finding the one, specific person you're meant to be with in a world of more than seven billion people is impossible. Others are more keen on taking romance's side, and argue that of course it's possible to find the one if you and this person are meant to be. There's no right or wrong answer about whether or not soulmates are real, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but for those who do believe in them, breaking up with a soulmate can feel like the ground is getting pulled out from under you. It may hurt more than any other breakup you've ever endured, because you feel like you lost the one you were meant to be with.
Call me a hopeless romantic, but IMO, the idea that there's one person out there for everyone is comforting to me. Of course, that doesn't mean there aren't many people out there who will make you happy, who you're compatible with, and who you'll love. But way I see it is, there are people who will come into your life and make it that much better — they just may not be meant to stay in your life long-term. Some people simply make an appearance.
All breakups can make you ache, but breaking up with someone you considered a soulmate can make the pain feel 10 times worse. You were planning on forever with this person, and when they're no longer part of your plans, it just doesn't make any sense. But you're not alone. Below, eight Redditors who got real about their reasons for breaking up with their soulmates.
01It Was Bad Timing
I've always strongly felt that you have multiple soul mates and not just romantic ones. There are a few people in my life that I truly believe are soul mates. 1 is romantic and 2 are dear dear friends who I could not picture my life without. I am not in a relationship with the romantic one for a few reasons but we do get together romantically occasionally. We have different views and goals and as much as it hurts, I don't believe we would work together. Part of me hopes that in a few years, with more personal growth on both parts, we could be together and be deeply in love. But the timing is very wrong right now.
02It Was A Lot Of Different Things
Bad timing, impatience, naivety, distance, and replacement are what happened. Some on my part, some on hers. We were close, and we balanced each other out really nicely. I understood her, and I was someone she could confide in. We'd talk every day, and then she started shagging some limp-d*cked spitf*ck who's done nothing but treat her like *ss. We fought over that once, got over it, and tried to make things work for a while.
03They Just Weren’t Meant To Last Forever
I broke up with someone who I thought was my soulmate. He wasn't really, though, or if he was then we don't just have one. It took awhile, but I finally got over him. It killed me at first, after some time, I just realized how maybe we were supposed to be together at that time, but just not forever.
04Their Cultural And Religious Differences Were Too Much
It's been over a month since we decided to end it. And it still sucks as much as it did that day. The only reason for the breakup - i'am from a different religion and culture and his family won't agree. He wasn't very keen to go against their wishes. So, i ended things. We were together for 2.5 years and i thought we would be perfect for each other in every way. I still want to talk to him everyday. I wish he'd fight for me :'(
05He Was Dealing With His Own Problems
I've dated a whole lot but it was different this time. He was my best friend before and it felt like puzzle pieces the way we fit. Both literally and figuratively! We broke up because he experienced a trauma and felt he needed to deal with it alone.
06Life Got In The Way
My ex and I dated for several years and we were just compatible. Very different, but so incredibly compatible. All of our friends and family even commented on the amazing connection we had. It just worked perfectly and smoothly. Before her I would say I didn't really believe in soulmates, but, you know when you just meet a person and it just feels right? That was her for me.
Five years into our relationship we decided to break up because of the circumstances of our lives at the time. Neither of us wanted to break up, but be both recognized that the situation would make us both unhappy and resentful and we didn't want that. So after a lot of crying and sadness (months of it) we parted ways and it was hell for both of us.
And after all this, I still feel like she's my damn soulmate. That one person who I will never stop loving completely.
07He Lied And Then Asked For Space When She Found Out
It's been 2.5 years and I still feel sad about losing what we had. He was an INTJ and he lied to me, I didn't handle it well (when someone told me the truth, I didn't tell him that someone was talking about him), and he shut down and asked for space. When he finally came around and started responding to me again, we tried to act like everything was okay, but things didn't go back to normal.
I've met many men since then and have even been interested in a few, but no one ever really measures up to my college love. I don't think I'll ever trust anyone's judgment as much as I trusted his and I don't think I'll ever feel as safe or as loved with anyone as I did with him. I miss him every moment of everyday, but there's nothing I can do about it, so I try to be stoic and tell myself that my relationship was collateral damage in a world where shit happens.
08He Was Emotionally Abusive
He emotionally abused me for 5 years. It took an outside source of someone on the outside to show me the truth. I've always thought he was my soulmate I never coped with it. I lost his child and he didn't care. That was when I knew it was true. They can start out feeling the same way and suddenly they realise they have full control over you... Know just what to say to get what ever they want... He left me multiple times but there was never a night he didn't call me. I miss him when nights get cold and long. Its like a hole in my chest with a string like from a worn down shirt unraveling getting bigger and bigger.
Breaking up with anyone is beyond hard, but breaking up with someone who you thought was your forever can be even more brutal. The sad truth of the matter is that sometimes, people come into your life for only a season, a reason, or a lifetime. Maybe the timing is just never right or life constantly gets in the way. Whatever happens, at least you loved wholeheartedly, and you will love again.
