Here’s What To Do If Your Bumble Match Isn’t Responding To Your Messages
So, you did the damn thing. You brainstormed a witty Bumble bio that perfectly showcases your naturally sparkling personality, you matched with an eligible bachelor or bachelorette, and you crafted an opening message that you'd be proud to tell your future grandchildren about when they ask about your epic love story. And then... crickets. What do you do when your Bumble match doesn't respond, other than using this moment to illustrate to your mom why you don't have a plus-one to your cousin Jen's wedding?
You have a few options. You could double-text them, but you might worry that sending multiple messages in a row makes you look like a stage-five clinger before you've even got a chance to meet in real life. (BTW, I asked guys about this. Most of them think double-texting is actually kinda sweet.) Or you could wait for them to respond, but beware — on Bumble, guys only have 24 hours to reply before the match disappears for good. If you're really digging someone, that might not be a risk you're willing to take.
Here's how to navigate that frustrating situation when a guy leaves your message hanging — and how to avoid winding up with a bare inbox in the first place.
Move On
"If a guy doesn't respond to your message on Bumble, you should move on. It's his loss!" says Meredith Golden, a dating expert and founder of SpoonMeetSpoon. "There are plenty of singles out there; no need to waste your time and energy on someone who isn't interested or is too busy to respond."
It takes two to tango, and if your would-be dance partner isn't making moves, it's not your fault. Keep swiping, start a conversation with someone else (keep reading; there are tips below on the kinds of messages that get the most responses), and try not to take that guy's lack of response personally. Chances are, his silence has nothing to do with you — maybe he's having a hectic day at work.
But If You Really Like Someone, Send A Second Message
Don't overthink it. If you have a hunch you'd really get along with someone, why not send another message just in case?
I asked Alex Williamson el-Effendi, the Head of Brand at Bumble, for her expert input — after all, the art of the Bumble message is literally her job. "I would do a friendly follow-up," she recommends. "A GIF is always a great option, or you could do something friendly and conversational like, 'Hey, how's your Thursday going?' You could even say, 'We should grab drinks.'"
Not convinced that works? Just listen to this. "One of our success stories happened that way," Williamson el-Effendi continues. "The conversation had stopped. He was like, 'I'm just going to throw a Hail Mary here and ask you to dinner.' She responded. Now they're living together."
Increase Your Chances Of Getting A Response
Both Golden and Williamson el-Effendi agree: The most effective initial messages are the ones that inject lots of personality into the conversation. "Humor or asking a question always supersedes a 'Sup?'" Golden says. "Being creative always helps you stand out."
Think about it — wouldn't you rather respond to something thoughtful, funny, or eye-catching instead of (yet another) "hey"?
"It pays to put yourself out there," Williamson el-Effendi says. "If the message crashes and burns, that's OK. We have 21 million users, and there's going to be someone who responds to your particular sense of humor — or as it's called now, your personal brand. I'm always a strong proponent of playing your cards, putting them all on the table, and if it's not the right person, that's OK."
Go forth and send a fabulous message — you can even steal one of these genius conversation-starters (shhh, we won't tell).
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