Christina Aguilera Dropped Her First Single & Video In 6 Years & What Did I Just Watch?

Christina Aguilera had a bit of a morning. The singer released her first single and music video in six years on May 3. The song is called "Accelerate," and I have listened to it five times now and I still don't know what it's about. Watching the music video doesn't help, either. I legitimately do not know what I just watched, guys. Christina Aguilera's "Accelerate" lyrics are admittedly catchy, but the song also sounds like it's trying to combine a billion different song styles in one and can't decide which style it likes best, so color me freaking confused. Aguilera's voice sounds as good as ever though, so stans will be happy to have her back after years of waiting.

Aguilera teased the upcoming release of the song on Twitter earlier this week and officially dropped the song on Thursday, May 3. The drop came along with the announcement of her upcoming album, Liberation. The album, according to one of Aguilera's tweets, will have 14 songs and is dropping June 15, 2018.

As we established, I have no idea what "Accelerate" is supposed to be about. The first lines are "Hide it 'til we feel it, then we feel it, 'til we fight it, yeah. Hold it 'til we need it, never leave it. Didn't want it," and the narrative in that intro alone gives me whiplash.

Guys, please watch the "Accelerate" music video and tell me what the heck I'm supposed to make of it. I'm so confused by literally everything that is happening here.

I have so many questions. First of all, why is she eating glitter? Is this an ode to Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz? Does Christina Aguilera think that was an underrated album? What is that gooey stuff that she pours all over her body at the end? I know it's meant to be some kind of sexual innuendo, but it makes. No. Sense. To. Me.

I feel like I'm so confused because the song kind of just... starts. There's no context given in the beginning, like "I just got dumped, let's go party," or "My life has been stressful lately, let's go dancing." It just starts by saying she and her friends have arrived in NYC and are going to go out partying, and then she immediately starts singing, "Baby, it's alright. Baby, it's OK." Yes, everything is OK. Was she not OK before? What made things not OK?!

No matter how confused I am over this single, Xtina stans are so happy she's back after six years of musical silence.

Let's break down Christina Aguilera's "Accelerate" lyrics.

Aguilera starts it off with the previously mentioned intro that gives me whiplash with its indecisiveness.

Hide it 'til we feel it / Then we feel it, 'til we fight it, yeah / Hold it 'til we need it, never leave it / Didn't want it

Then Aguilera sings the first verse, with Ty Dolla $ign being featured in parts of it.

New York, worldwide (L.A., worldwide) / Borders my city (Girl, that's my home) / Just pulled up to the hotel (Hotel, hotel) / All my day ones here with me (Ah, yeah) / We got moola, power / Yeah, we on fire tonight / Gonna get it how we want it / 'Cause we 'bout it, 'bout that life

Then comes the pre-chorus:

Baby, it's alright / Baby, it's alright / Baby, it's OK / Baby, it's OK / Spark round later, Ya Ya Ya Ya / Don't worry 'bout tomorrow / I be with my ladies you can find me there / Try to play us, we gon' start a riot up in here.

And the chorus:

Accelerate, c'mon babe / Pick up your speed / Stamina, fill me up / That's what I need / Another shot, you comin' home with me/ F*ck all these drugs, f*ck all these clubs / What's wrong with me (Oh, ya ya)

Aguilera and Ty Dolla $ign then come in for the second verse, with the pre-chorus and chorus following directly after.

All my boss ladies (In the city, yeah) / Go get your Mercedes (skrt skrt skrt skrt) / No matter long as you get there (Get there) / Just don't let it drive you crazy / Get that moola, power / You on fire tonight / You can get it how you want it / That's it, go tonight

Baby, it's alright / Baby, it's alright / Baby, it's OK / Baby, it's OK / Spark round later, Ya Ya Ya Ya / Don't worry 'bout tomorrow / I be with my ladies you can find me there / Try to play us, we gon' start a riot up in here

Accelerate, c'mon babe / Pick up your speed / Stamina, fill me up / That's what I need / Another shot, you comin' home with me/ F*ck all these drugs, f*ck all these clubs / What's wrong with me (Oh, ya ya)

Then comes 2 Chainz's verse, which is just as confusing as everything else in this damn song.

Right, left/ Mic left / Mic check, trap check / Sex drive Nascar / Crash it like the Nasdaq / More than you can expect / Everything except jealousy and envy / We gon' move on past that / Joint strong, pass that / Ooh, girl, bad, bad / Where the, where the cash at? / Don't forget the hashtag / Pretty, pretty, so saditty / Work it out, muscle memory / Get the money, my ability / Until the end, 2000, infinity / I put it in, now that you're feelin' me / Look how I'm killin' it / Leavin' there to chill / You ain't got internet Just left the Benedict / I got them benefits / Did it deliberate / Killed you to prove I'm innocent.

The song closes out with the bridge and the chorus.

Hide it 'til we feel it / Then we feel it, 'til we fight it, yeah / Hold it 'til we need it, never leave it / Didn't want it / F*ck all these drugs, f*ck all these clubs / What's wrong with me.

Accelerate, c'mon babe / Pick up your speed / Stamina, fill me up / That's what I need / Another shot, you comin' home with me/ F*ck all these drugs, f*ck all these clubs / What's wrong with me.

After watching this video another time and reading through the lyrics twice more, I have come to this conclusion:

I guess it's just a song about dancing in the club? Some of the lyrics in the beginning make me think this is about dancing your troubles away and not caring about your hardships for a night, but Ariana Grande did that with "No Tears Left To Cry," and in my ~humble~ opinion, she did it much better. Christina, don't get this twisted. I'm very excited to have you back. But what the hell did I just watch?