4 Ways To Tell The Person You're Casually Dating Doesn't Want A Real Relationship
It's easy for the early stages of a budding relationship to start to feel a bit confusing if you've yet to have a conversation about what's actually going on between the two of you. Broaching these conversations can be difficult, but if you have reached the point where you could see yourself in a real relationship with this person, then talking to them about what's in store for the both of you shouldn't feel like a shot in the dark. Do they want a relationship? Well, if you constantly find yourself unsure of whether or not they are open to something serious with you, then chances are you've been — either consciously or subconsciously — picking up on vibes that they may have some reservations.
First off, it's important to consider what you want independent of the person you're casually dating. If you've been making your rounds on the dating circuit for a while and are looking for something a bit more solid, or simply don't want to keep getting caught up in casual flings, then my best advice is to pull a Rachel Lindsay and don't be afraid to ask for what you want. I can't guarantee you'll get it, but it will make the chances of developing feelings for someone who isn't on the same page a lot less likely. If you're still hesitant to start a conversation — there are certain behaviors that might mean the person you're seeing isn't looking for commitment.
Elite Daily spoke with dating expert and profile helper Eric Resnick to find out some signs that the person you're seeing may want to keep things casual.
1. You Haven't Met Their Friends
Introducing someone new to your family is a big deal, but before this happens, they definitely should be introducing you to the people in their friend circle.
You can learn so much about a person based on the type of people they choose to surround themselves with, and Resnick notes that if you've been dating for a while and you still haven't met their friends, "there's a good chance that [they are] not taking the relationship seriously. If [they were, they'd] want you to meet the other people who are important to him."
2. They're A Bit Too Mysterious
In the beginning, a bit of mystery can definitely be alluring, but there comes a time when you can no longer sustain relationship momentum on crumbs. "You start to realize that the sexy 'air of mystery' is really just them not telling you anything about their life," says Resnick.
One of the best parts about being in a relationship is having someone to share different aspects of your life with. If your new love interest chooses to keep details about their family, how they grew up, and what they do in their day-to-day life a secret — this could mean that they don't see you becoming a meaningful part of that.
3. There's Little To No Talk Of Your Future Together
As I mentioned earlier, good communication is one of the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. According to Resnick, if you just started seeing each other, then it's a bit too early to panic. However: "If you've been together for a while and [they aren't] willing to talk about what [they] see in the future for the two of you, it is a good sign that [they] haven't really been thinking about having a future with you."
Although you should definitely shy away from applying pressure, in order for things to move to the next level, someone has to bite the bullet. Making your desire to take things to the next level obvious could be just the push they need to reflect on their own feelings.
4. They Haven't Really Opened Up
Not everyone is good as being vulnerable, but if you are someone they care about and have grown to trust, then they should be sharing both the good and not-so-good things that are going on in their life.
"[If they have] clearly been brooding about something for a couple of days, but [are] unwilling to share what's wrong," this could be a sign that they may not be interested in building the trust and emotional intimacy it takes to sustain a relationship, says Resnick.
There's absolutely no need to rush things, but if you've been dating for more than a couple of months and are ready for a more solid commitment, it's never a bad idea to go after what you want.
"The amount of people I see in one-sided relationships because they tiptoe around subjects is really overwhelming. If you want more out of a relationship than you feel like you are getting, just come out and ask. If asking where they feel the relationship is going puts them on the defense, you already have your answer," says Resnick.
In the end, it's important to realize that there's not so much you can do to alter someones feelings or change whether or not they want a relationship. But the one thing you do have control over is yourself and how you choose to handle the situation.
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