7 Hilarious Stories About Public Quickies That Will Remind You To Lock The Door
Sometimes nature calls, and you really need to escape to the bathroom for... sex reasons. That's right, I'm talking about public quickies and hookups that happen just because you and bae (or someone you may have just met) "can't fight this feeling any more." Trying to hook up in public comes with its complications, so it should come as no surprise that there are quite a few hilarious stories about public quickies out there that will have you blushing in no time.
Public sex can honestly be super thrilling, and can make your sex life feel pretty exciting. It's important to find a place where other people aren't going to see you — for your safety, their safety, and to ensure you don't get in any legal trouble. If you are able to finesse a private spot (with a door that preferably locks), who is to say you can't get down to business in a pinch?
The following folks certainly took advantage of the opportunity before them. If sex in public is something that piques your interest, but not something you're ready to try out yourself, you can always check out the following stories for some inspiration or to live vicariously through them.
When you have to get creative...
My ex and I were at a hotel party for his broomball team. The plan was to drink, swim and hot tub, drink, change in the hotel room (at least 12 of us sharing a room), hit the bar, etc. Somewhere in the middle of that we found that only my ex and I were in the room and already nearly naked, so we hit the deadbolt and went at it on top of the coats. Standard missionary, sorry. The ten people outside the door started pounding on it and yelling to hurry up. The cheerleading proved effective for me. Good times.
When it's pretty spontaneous...
Went to a bar with friends. Girl I used to casually date lives a mile down the street from the bar. I text her that I am at the bar across the street. She comes fashionably late. I haven't seen her in a year and we immediately realize that we are still very physically attracted to each other. The bar is pretty full. She asks me if i want to follow her to the bathroom. I quickly f*ck her from behind. Proceed to walk out of the stall, walk to the bar, order Jameson neat, and all is gravy. It's sh*t like this that makes me look forward to each day.
When in Rome...
When in Rome, I hooked up with some guy at a camping site at around three in the morning. We were doing it on a picnic table in between the tents/cabins and one of the rarely used toilet blocks... he started going down on me while I was naked on the table I was pretty much at his mercy and didn't care...
When you are stay after class for extra credit...
In college, with my ex, we were broken up but were still hooking up. Once, after rehearsal, we hooked up in the class room we regularly had class in the next day. So it was funny to come in and sit in class knowing what we had previously done there.
— Anna,* 27
When you drop the ball a bit...
Back in the day, my ex-fiancé (LOL) and I went to the bar near our college that was known for having cool shows. One night, it was super loud because there was a metal band. We slipped into the gender neutral bathroom one at a time and hooked up. I accidentally dropped my bra in the toilet thought and had to dry it under the hand dryer and keep it in my purse for the rest of the night. Worth it, though.
— Jess,* 24
When the party goes a bit too hard...
My now-husband and I started hooking up at parties before we even started dating. I was in a sorority that was paired with his frat in the fall and so there were a lot of joint parties. We basically had a spot in the basement of his house that we would hook up in. One time, we were going to hook up down there and there were so many people upstairs dancing that we could physically see the floor bending above us. I truly thought that it was going to break and we were going to be crushed, so I ran upstairs while buttoning my pants and hooking my bra. He was pretty far behind me, unconcerned, and kind of annoyed that I had just bolted in the middle of hooking up.
— Eloisa, 28
When the sex is jaw-dropping...
I was hooking up with a guy in Cape Cod. We were parked at the beach when it was closed, he always thought I was lying about having TMJ (temporomandibular joint dysfunction) because I wouldn't blow him to completion, so there I was, naked in my backseat giving this dude head and bam, my jaw locks open and will not close three knocks on the window. He opens the door and it's a police officer but suddenly these two bros are shooting the shit because they were high school buddies. I'm just sitting their, naked, jaw hanging open, while they catch up for a good two minutes. The cop asked me if I wanted to be there and I could only nod my head up and down, he told us we had to get going and left. I put my clothes on and the guy said "Hey, before you head to the ER will you drop me off?". It was great. I even have a wonderful photo with gauze wrapped around my head from the ER doc.
Sex in public went over as well as it could for these folks, considering their various circumstances. It can be fun to get sexy with someone and get caught up in the heat of the moment. Remember: public indecency is illegal in the United States. I'm in no way encouraging you to break the law, but if you're set on a public hookup — It's important to find a relatively private or vacant place, because random bystanders don't have the chance to consent to seeing what you and bae are up to. It's best if the heat of the moment is the only thing you get caught by — if you catch my drift.
