Relationships
15 Women Reveal How They Knew They Had Found "The One" & It's So True
by Candice Jalili
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Originally Published:
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Before you actually meet "The One" it can be difficult to imagine how this one magnificent person is going to come into your life and change everything. Well, if you're one of those people wondering how dating "The One" feels different from dating other people before them, wonder no more. I come bearing answers, my friends. In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies shared the ways in which dating the love of their life felt different for them than dating any of their exes. Their answers will warm your heart and make you, like, super excited for this to happen to you. Without further ado, here we go:
He likes the parts of her that her exes just tolerated.
My husband likes all of my quirks and weirdness that other partners just tolerated. He fully appreciates me as a person and isn’t afraid to let me know.
He was clear about his feelings for her from the start.
he demonstrated that he loved me and wanted to be with me. after we finally got together (i was in heavy denial he could ACTUALLY be into me) this continued, and i never felt any doubt or anxiety about his interest level, scared of talking about the future, any of it. we openly talked about marriage, agreed to get our rings, and that was that.
as time went on he also demonstrated that he was capable of dealing with my avoidant attachment issues and would not let me run away even if i tried.
She finally felt like she could fully be herself.
I was planning on marrying my ex but always felt like there was this tiny piece of me that had to be squashed or hidden. It was so slight at first but kept bothering me. Being with my husband, I don’t feel any of that. Also, I’m the same person with him, with my friends, and my family.
She felt totally comfortable around him.
How absolutely comfortable I felt around him. Doing nothing together felt normal and I felt like I had known him for years. We're a team.
She knew in her gut that it was right.
I never had to persuade myself into thinking the relationship was better than it was. I never had to convince myself that I was happy, because I was actually happy. in so many other relationships I would find myself wondering “this is what love is supposed to be like...?” but not with him
He celebrates exactly who she is.
In a few years I might want to marry my current SO. He is different because he accepts me for who I am and celebrates my weirdness. Most guys seemed to like the idea of me but not the actual me.
They love each other in action.
I didn't really believe in love at first sight, and I guess we didn't technically fall in love at first sight, but being around him was so different. I realized all of the men i thought I loved before, I didn't. And they sure as hell didn't love me. It was a shadow of what real love could be like. Being with my now husband--we are literally the best version of ourselves when we are together. We communicate. We love in action, not just hollow words. We met, were dating within four months, engaged five months after that, and married less than a year later. It sounds cheesy to say, but it is very much "when you know, you just know."
It was easy.
Dating my husband was easy, simple, comfortable, happy in a way as if there is a waterfall of light inside of you. I felt beautiful, interesting, overachieving, hot as hell.
Dating other guys was anxious, doubting, hard work. I felt like I couldn't relax, self-conscious.
He was extremely patient.
My husband had the patience of a God. I, being 8 years younger, was a hot mess when we first started dating and he was always patient. He seemed to know I would grow up, mature, and change, even when I didn’t. (I’m an alcoholic who was not sober at the time) He gave me the space and stability I needed and still need. Plus, he makes me laugh my ass off, he finds me hilarious, our sex life has always been better than with anyone else, and when he hugs me I feel so safe and cozy. My husband is my safest place to exist.
Even if he doesn't understand her, he accepts her.
He accepts the parts of me that he doesn't understand, and that is hugely important. I had a close guy friend I considered dating, and he always said he understood me 100%. It felt nice at the time, but later I realized it meant that, when I said/did something he didn't agree with, he would "mansplain" my actions and basically say I was just being a b****.
To simplify: your guy may not understand why that shirt is so important to you, but if he buys it for you anyway, he's probably a good guy. On a larger scale, my husband moved halfway across the country (away from both our families) because we knew it would make me happy. He didn't get 100% why that would make me happy, but it did, and that was worth it to him.
She was never embarrassed by him.
I was never embarrassed to be with him. I was proud. He does small things that make me feel special, communicates like an adult, and never calls me crazy. Very simple things that unfortunately I never got in my previous relationships.
He never tried to change her.
He accepted me for me and everything I am from day 1. He didn't try to change the little things about me. He loved everything I did, everything I wore, everything I said. Even if I thought it was cringy and terrible. When we had late night talks and I started to tell him about baggage that's been a deal breaker for people in the past, he told me that he wants us to have a fresh slate and that if it's imperative for me to tell him my past, I can. Having somebody love, trust and respect me so wholly was completely different from any serious relationship I had ever had before.
They balance each other out perfectly.
My husband is more or less my opposite in many ways compared to other people I've dated. I used to date people who I was similar but I've realized someone who holds some of the qualities that I lack is perfect for me. We share the same core values but our personalities are very different.
He respects her.
He respected my opinion from the start. We can talk about anything and learn from each other rather than see things as a competition. He makes me feel valued, respected, and deeply loved. I knew I wanted to marry him when I didn’t want to be any where else but with him by my side.
It was natural.
It just felt so easy and natural, like we had already known each other for years. I felt comfortable being myself and not feeling like I had to be extra to impress him. We have personalities and quirks that just clicked. Comparing our relationship to my other relationships I see now that I wasn't truly compatible with the other guys I dated.
The overarching message here? When you meet the right person, it will be easy. No more fighting to make it happen, no more stressing over the right thing to say. It's about just being yourself and letting that be enough.
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