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I don't necessarily believe in the concept of "the one." I firmly believe that there are multiple people out there that could make us happy for the rest of our lives. I like to think of each of these people as possible "ones" we can end up with. But how do you know if you've met the one? Or, at least, if you've met one of your many ones. In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies share the glorious moments during which they just knew with every fiber of their beings that the person they're with would be in their lives forever.
He was there for her darkest times.
When I first had a PTSD moment with him (triggered by something f*cking random) and he just held me close and kept telling me he was here with me and I was safe. He never treated me differently or like I was broken, just like a normal person who has gone through some f*cked up sh*t. After that point, I knew he was the person I was going to marry because he joked about proposing to me for about a month leading up to him popping the question, lol.
She always wanted to be his "one."
we fell for each other very organically as friends, and he said from the start he was a commitment-minded person searching for a wife, even from his early 20s. i knew i wanted to be the one he was looking for.
They're totally on the same page.
All the things I thought would be a hindrance or a hurdle- big family that I'm close to, not into food much at all, very strict views on money, likes guns, not super into pets, were either neutral, or positives. We aligned. I disagree with the common marriage advice that it's all about communication and compromise - I think that those things are a billion times easier if you're cut from the same fabric and are compatible in most ways, and similar in many.Money is a big deal - always a big reason for divorce, and our financial goals, priorities, habits, (lack of) debt align. We have similar views on the role of family, and are both okay with a revolving door of people coming by whenever. Our values are very complementary and compatible and it shows in politics, charity, money again, roommate stuff.I really don't buy the idea of "opposites attract." Only in romcoms is that the case. IRL, it takes a fair amount of similarities and commonality to have a happy marriage, in my observation of watching many happy marriages in my family. You can communicate till the cows come home, but if you're not saying the same fundamental outlook on the matter, you'll spin your wheels.And so, when I met my now-husband, I was amazed at how similar, complementary, and compatible we are in big ways and small - even the fact that neither of us are into food/ eating makes a HUGE difference for travel, budget, Friday nights, meal-prep - we like to do the same things on weekends, and it is massively helpful to not have to "drag him along" to my hobby, or "sit through" his version of a good time.
She felt totally unconditional love even in hard times.
Small things like the comfortable silence between us or when he paid for my groceries when my card declined and I was on the verge of a panic attack.
I knew when we went through harder times, the really low points of make it or break it moments. Not everyone stays when it gets tough, but love was unexpectedly shown to me through actions. I feel queasy writing this hahaha.
She wanted to use her photography skills to capture their love.
I love to take pictures. I just always did. My dad was a photography teacher, black and white film. With all my other boyfriends I was never interested in documenting our relationship. The most would be an occasional social media post. But with him, I wanted to document it. I just wanted to. And I actually got the pictures printed. I remember holding the first batch of pictures I got printed in my hands. I was giving them to him for his birthday. They felt special. They felt permanent. And they felt like I would never feel negativity towards them. We married, four years later.
She felt intensely comfortable with him from the get-go.
After just one conversation with him, I felt a level of comfort that I’d never felt with any other guy before. I knew immediately that this was the guy I was going to marry. Apparently he felt the same way, we were engaged less than a year later :)
She thought of him as her husband before they even tied the knot.
We had been together for 3 years. I was traveling in Europe seeing some friends and he was at home. We had talked early on about how we were never interested in marriage, but a long term monogamous relationship would be fine.
I was looking at castles (they are everywhere and amazing!) and I thought "Man, I wish my husband was here experiencing this with me." I literally did a double take on my own thoughts. Husband? Where did that come from?
We got engaged a year later and married a month ago. It is fantastic. Now I just need to get him to Europe with me to see castles.
He fit in with he family.
When I broke up with my ex, my two younger brothers told me they never felt like my ex liked them very much. I promised them with tears running down my cheeks that the guy I ended up with would be one of their best friends.
There was one special day when I brought my SO home to hang out with my family. He was supposed to watch the Outsiders with us, and I ended up having to go to work a 3 hour shift. I thought he'd go home, but it turned out he had dinner with them and watched the movie, without me there! Then him and my brother walked to pick me up from work. It blew me away to think he chose to spend that time with him, and my family all loved it.
He carries groceries for my mom, and laughs at all her crazy jokes. He talks hockey and movies with my one brother for what feels like hours, and plays video games and jokes around with the other one. He really is a genuine friend to them, and hugs them all goodbye whenever we leave.
We're not engaged yet because we feel too young at 23, but we're living together, loving every minute, and talk about our plans to spend forever together like we're talking about what to have for dinner.
Here's to hoping we all eventually have the pleasure of meeting one of our "ones." They're out there, people!
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