I Used To Drunk Text All The Time — Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Panic About Doing It

A few years ago, I woke up on the fourth of July in a twin bed in Coronado, San Diego. (Yes, I was supposed to be there. No, I don't get drunk and impulsively go on airplanes.) I was visiting friends, life was California-dreamy, and I knew there would be many tacos in my future. An hour later, I was sitting on the beach, margarita in hand, relaxing and taking in the beautiful day. JUST KIDDING. An hour later, I was still in bed due to the beach margaritas I had consumed the day before. (I had gotten overly excited about being in California upon landing.) I was in full fetal position, leaning into my hangover, when I spotted my phone on the charger across the room. Uh oh. Did I send a drunk text?

My first thought was: "F*CK!" I vaguely remembered draining the battery on my phone, and I definitely hadn't been crafting haikus for my friends. As my crippling anxiety set in, I realized that my iPhone contacts — well, one contact in particular — may have felt the effects of the prior night's indulgences before I did. It took me another twenty minutes to muster up the courage (as well as physical strength) to get out of bed and check my messages. I'm getting queasy just thinking back to the moment of unlocking my phone, knowing that I had drunk texted the cutie I'd been dating for the first time. WHYYYYYY.

I honestly couldn't tell you what those texts said today. (Mostly because drunk texting became a very bad habit with this particular gentleman.) I do remember that they were not as bad as my wildly hungover imagination had predicted. (Mostly, I was just berating him for his response time. #Insecurity101) I immediately apologized to him. He told me that he completely understood, and that he was drunk, too. Still, I shame spiraled. I was unable to brush it off as an "oopsie" and settled on self-loathing as a theme for the day. (If this sounds dramatic, remember that I was also hungover AF.)

Guess what, though? My drunk texts didn't end things with this guy. We dated for a while. This dude could handle me at my worst, god bless him. (Yes, I continued to drunk text him when I really should have been telling him how I felt sober, but that's why we're not together.)

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that drunk texting is a good habit; you can't be a total A-hole via text without consequence. However, I am going to remind you that the shame you're feeling about sending a weird text is probably not worth the self-flagellation you've sentenced yourself to.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that drunk texting is a good habit; you can't be a total A-hole via text without consequence. However, I am going to remind you that the shame you're feeling about sending a weird text is probably not worth the self-flagellation you've sentenced yourself to.

At the end of the day, receiving a drunk text is a lot different than sending one. I have gotten drunken "I love you" texts from men who never said "I love you" to me in person, and I didn't think any less of them. It wasn't the best look, but let's be real: The texts were flattering. Even slightly mean drunk texts can be an ego boost when you're on the receiving end — you thought of me 14 drinks in?! How romantic!

On the other hand, if you're freaking out about your drunk texts because you're thinking, "Now [insert name here] knows I like them!" I would counter you by saying, so what? If you like someone, it's OK to let them know. In fact, had I been more open and honest with the aforementioned guy sober, I probably wouldn't have felt the need to get drunk and text him. Women are often cautioned against being "psycho" — which usually just translated to "having feelings." It makes sense that we push our real feels down. Vulnerability is scary. Here's the thing: Your truth is going to come out eventually. I denied my feelings for this particular guy in order to seem "chill," but alas — booze was the truth serum I wish didn't need.

Which brings me to a fact about me: I enjoy adult beverages. I love margaritas both for the taste and for the sense of calm drinking one affords me. I'm an anxious person, so a bit of booze is an antidote to my tendency to overthink. Ideal behavior? No. Real talk? Yes.

Lowering your inhibitions with a few drinks can be cool, but drunk texting is not. Sure, there are worse things one could due as a result of alcohol, but regretting a text is a pretty sh*tty feeling, too. You could stop drinking, or you could start speaking honestly. I stopped drunkenly saying things I didn't want to say to people as soon as I started telling them the truth sober. It's scary, but it's better than that post-text, next day rabbit hole. Trust me.

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