Yep, you made an impression.
I used to go on a lot of bad first dates, ranging from "just OK" to truly awful. But what always kept me putting myself out there (despite the disappointing odds) was remembering the good dates. Sure, dating can be frustrating, but it can also be super fun if you and the other person vibe really well. And you generally know pretty quickly if you would be game for a second date or not.
On average, it takes exactly 42 minutes and 29 seconds of meeting in person for someone to know if they want a second date, and 19% of people know within just 10 minutes, according to the dating app the Inner Circle. Clearly, when you know, you know, and trusting your instinct is usually the best bet.
On the flip side, being able to tell if someone wants to see you again is another story. You can easily get caught up in second guessing everything you thought went well. After all, it’s not uncommon to go on what felt like a great date in the moment just to have it fizzle out or completely disappear afterwards. Knowing that, can you ever really tell if you're on the same page as someone when it comes to wanting to hang out again?
It's actually not that difficult, as Connell Barrett, Dating Transformation founder and executive dating coach, tells Elite Daily. "You can absolutely read someone’s behavior to tell if they want to see you again,” he says. “Both on a date and after, people are like radio towers — always broadcasting information about how they feel and what they want. You just have to look for clues.” But in order to effectively pick up on said clues, online dating expert Julie Spira tells Elite Daily you can't just check out — you need to be on the lookout. "It’s actually easier to spot if someone doesn’t want to see you, so I recommend being present while on a date, and showing an interest in what your date has to say," she explains. Here's what else the experts say to look out for.
The Conversation Flows Naturally
Nothing is more awkward on a first date than when the conversation just stalls. This could definitely be a sign that the chemistry simply isn’t there, but the opposite can also be true, says Spira. “When you’re on the date and time passes by so fast, because the convo is so interesting, it’s a great sign that the person you’re on a date with would like to see you again," she shares. "If the opposite happens, and there are several lulls in the conversation, your date just might not be feeling it, and if so, chalk it up to a one-and-done date.”
You Laugh Together
Outside of just having good conversation, being able to laugh with someone is another clear indication that something is clicking between you two. "Laughter... [is] not just a direct response to joke telling. Humor might be a way of tapping into the bonding effects of laughter," Alan W. Gray, the lead author of a study on laughter and intimacy, previously told Mic. If you find that your date can’t stop laughing and, more importantly, laughing with you, it’s safe to assume you’re building a connection that will set you up for a second date.
Their Body Language Shows Interest
While good banter is certainly a positive sign, Spira says your date's body language can also tell you a lot about their intentions. “When you’re greeted with a hug and a smile, it’s a good sign,” says Spira. “Those who are interested in seeing you again will show it by leaning in when you speak, and will want to walk you to your car, waits for your ride-share to show up, and will give you a strong hug, or even a kiss, which is a sure-fire sign you’ll be getting together again.”
Their Face Lights Up Around You
Your date’s facial expressions can give you insight into what they’re thinking, too. When their face is beaming, odds are they’re having a fantastic time. “If your date can’t stop smiling, that’s a great sign that they’re going to want to see you again,” body language expert Blanca Cobb previously told Elite Daily. “You can’t help but smile when you’re with someone who makes you feel good,” she says.
It’s also all about the eyes. You can definitely tell if a person is present and engaged by their eyes alone. “If your date can’t take their eyes off of you, then a second date is bound to happen,” she said. “They might be looking at you to take you in visually. They might watch everything you do. They look at you because you’re visually appealing.”
They Are Responsive And Emotive In Text Messages
Barrett says there are actually clues to be found in your date's behavior outside of the actual date, especially how they behave over text. “Pay attention to how they text you,” says Barrett. “A sign someone wants to see you again is responsiveness — they quickly, consistently respond to your texts, and they do so with good, positive vibes, rather than short, curt messages. If they text you while they’re still in the Uber on the way home from date number one, that’s a huge indicator of interest,” he explains. “And the more emojis they use, the better. When someone feels an emotional bond with another person, they use lots of emojis.”
They Tell You They Want To See You Again
The clearest sign of your date’s interest is when they say they want to see you again. Even if they don’t outright mention a second date, they might talk about the things they want to do with you in the future, says Barrett. “If they talk about future activities you might do together, they’re basically saying, ‘Let’s go out again! And if they’d agreed to meet for ‘a quick drink’ and it becomes a three-hour night out, that’s a great sign that they want to see you again,” he says. “Time investment equals interest.”
Or they may just let you know at the end of the date or later over text that they want to get together again. “If they tell you outright that they’d like to see you again, and specifically ask you out for a second date, you’ve just won the dating lottery,” Spira says. “Remember, the goal of a first date is to see if you click and have enough in common to get to a second date.”
If that’s the case, the next move is in your hands, and it might be time to freshen up on ways to respond to them saying they want to see you again. If you were also feeling the connection, you can keep the sparks flying even after you’ve said goodbye.
Ultimately, while these clues are all helpful in knowing how your date feels about meeting up again, it’s also good to do a little gut check and ask yourself if it’s something you want, too. After all, life is too short to go on dates that you're not really into. Don’t be afraid to trust your gut — it’s the best indicator of what’s right for you.
Experts:
Connell Barrett, dating coach and founder of Dating Transformation
Julie Spira, online dating expert and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert
Blanca Cobb, body language expert
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