The term "friend with benefits" in and of itself implies that there are no romantic feelings involved. So, if you wind up starting to have feelings for the person you agreed to be casually hooking up with, you can only imagine how things could start to get complicated. But seriously. If you catch feelings for your friend with benefits, what the eff are you supposed to do?
Well, first and foremost, know that you're not alone. In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies shared stories of times they caught feelings for their FWB and, trust me, you're about to relate to them big time.
Seeing him with other women made her upset.
Bad. Do not recommend. Caveat: we were in college and I was(/am) a jealous person. I used to go to his frat and see him dancing with other girls and then I'd get really pissed. We kept being FWB though because... we wanted to get laid and neither of us really had other prospects at the time.It was weird though - we were good friends when I had a boyfriend and he always told me my boyfriend didn't treat me well enough whatever - AND THEN HE WAS THE BIGGEST DOUCHE OF ALL. kthnx.
As soon as she caught feelings, things got messy.
I've had a few fwb and I've only caught feelings for one and honestly it's best to stop f**king them and cut contact imo because unless they're feeling the same way it's messy and it hurts.
It ended terribly for her.
I’ve had a FWB situation in which I developed feelings but continued on as if I didn’t. It ended terribly! If I could do it all over again, I’d be transparent and tell them I was hoping it could be something low key but I’m starting to have feelings for you.
He got distant as soon as he caught feelings.
I got into a FWB situation, stupidly, with someone who I had a complicated, 4 year history with. We’d obviously had feelings for each other at different points in our friendship, and yet we really deadass thought we could handle it with no emotions attached. There was a morning after I’d slept over at his place that I came into the kitchen brushing my teeth in nothing but one of his T-shirt’s, talking to him about something normal, and this quick smile flickered across his face - like “oh, this is normal, i like how comfortable this feels”. I hung out a bit throughout the day and he got weird and distant after that.My theory is that he realized he started catching feelings and instead of talking about it like an adult (we’re both 28 godforsaken years old), he just freaked out and disappeared. Honestly I should have known better, and I should have known to expect exactly that from him. So, shame on me expecting more, but shame on him for not being better.
Sometimes, it works out!
My current relationship started as FWB and now we have been officially together for almost 6 years! At the time we were in university, good friend and lived together in halls. We worried about what jumping into a relationship could do plus weren’t sure we wanted that. But we couldn’t deny the sexual tension! After a few months it got too hard. He actually went out for a date with another girl (she stood him up though) but it really upset me. A few weeks spent apart after that he returned to ask to be official. And that was that!
One person will probably catch feelings.
Someone always catches feelings. I’ve been the one to catch them. And I’ve also been the one that doesn’t. In every FWB situation Ive been in though, someone catches feelings. Hasn’t always ruined the friendships though. I’m still really good friends with someone I used to sleep with. There’s just always a small hidden sexual tension but we haven’t acted on it in years
I know this situation can feel stressful, but read these and take comfort in the fact that you are not the first person to ever feel like this. You are not alone. If you're not sure what to do next, here's how to proceed.
