8 Tips For Using Ice During Sex That'll Make You Melt

"Our body’s sensitivity to cold can vary wildly, but generally speaking, it's hard to tell the difference between a funshocking cold and a damaging-shocking cold. This is even more true on the sensitive skin around genitals or other erogenous zones," says Crista Anne Carroll, a sex educator and former advisory council member for the Effing Foundation for Sex Positivity. While she recognizes that temperature play can be a fun way to shake things up in the bedroom, Carroll says it's important to be careful and remain aware of what is happening with your partner's body.

In her book The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay, co-authored with Marla Renee Stewart, Dr. O’Reilly recommends an opposites approach when it comes to incorporating temperature play into your oral sex routine. “Place a glass of ice water and a cup of peppermint tea (or plain hot water) next to your bed,” she instructs. “Begin by breathing warm and cool air over their lips and clit [or penis] without making physical contact with your mouth. A wide open mouth will create a warm sensation while tight pursed lips will produce cooler air.” Alternating between the warm and cool sensations can be super stimulating for your partner.

In general, you should proceed with excessive caution when using ice internally. Ice should never be inserted for more than five minutes, according to Carroll. "Suggestions of made-at-home ice dildos or ice being inserted anally are uses that I [don’t] recommend experimenting with. With internal ice anal play, you're running a high risk of the ice damaging delicate tissue should it slide out of reach ... or existing rough edges doing damage that isn’t immediately felt because of the natural numbing from the cold," she says.

When performing oral sex on your partner, Dr. O’Reilly recommends that you take a sip of the cold water that you have beside your bed “and tuck a small ice cube into your cheek as you begin licking, slurping, and kissing all around. Do not place the ice cube directly on their skin, but allow it to cool your lips, tongue, and cheeks.” This way your partner is getting all the benefits of temperature play with none of the risks.

Before using ice on sensitive areas, Carroll says to let it thaw out slightly. Set it aside in a bowl or cup for five to 10 minutes. While the ice is melting a bit, get things heated up for maximum sensation shift. "Beyond safety, this will also allow the ice to slip and slide over skin. Ice sticking to sensitive areas can be damaging and painful," she adds.

If you are hoping for some chilly penetration, a safe alternative involves placing the toy of your choice in the fridge until it's cool to the touch. Test with your fingertips to make sure it hasn't gotten too cold, and be sure to be liberal with the lubricant. The lube itself can also be cooled in the fridge for added pleasure.

Frostbite is a real concern when using ice during sex. "Some people will find the cold slightly uncomfortable at first, but pain is a sign of trouble when it comes to ice play," says Carroll. This is why communicating about the sensations you're both feeling is so important. Any "pins and needles," burning, or stinging sensations are all warning signs of frostbite. Visual cues mean you should stop immediately and get warm. Look out for excessive redness or even a bluish tint to the skin, which is rare, but possible. The person using the ice should also be aware of these signs, because the skin on the fingertips is sensitive as well. Keeping a washcloth in a bowl of warm water nearby is a good safety measure, according to Carroll.

Ice play doesn’t have to be reserved for the genitals. You could try running a cube lightly over lips, nipples, around earlobes, wrists, fingers, inner thighs, down the spine and lower back, and even along the bottom of the foot. If you’d rather ditch the solid ice altogether, Dr. O’Reilly recommends that you “dip your hands in your cool water before playing with your lover’s nipples or running a few fingers over their backside.”

As with any kind of sexual experience, using ice isn't for everyone. As always, make sure to listen to your partner, communicate openly, and pay attention to how they respond. And who knows? Maybe you’ll give the OG Ice Princess Michelle Trachtenberg a run for her money.