Relationships
6 Women Explain How Their Relationships Survived Rough Patches & It's Inspiring
by Candice Jalili
The beginning of a relationship is a beautiful thing. It's full of butterflies, sex (for some people), passionate kisses, long talks about your hopes and dreams, inside jokes that nobody else gets, and date nights that you literally cannot wait for. But, eventually, as time wears on, the good times fade in even the best relationships. So... what are you supposed to do then? What's to be done when your relationship is in a rough patch? How do you come out of it?
Well, in a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies share how they came out of the rough patches in their relationships. Read along and take note.
She Accepted The Fact That Their Relationship Is Constantly Evolving
We just kind of got through it. Personally, I tried to remember that we would get through it and just like previous ‘good’ times had passed, so would the bad times. And they did. I think acceptance is a big key for us. We accept that we aren’t going to constantly be in a honeymoon phase, we aren’t always going to be in a bad phase. Our relationship has evolved and will keep evolving.
It Took Work For This Couple
Constant work and reminders from both of us. If I get angry easily, he tells me not to and helps me calm down by explaining himself and addressing the problem. If he is being rude, I tell him to stop it or we won’t talk for a day or whatever it takes for him to apologize and talk in a civilized way.Both of us have to be committed and patient towards the other, know what makes us uncomfortable or unhappy, and recognize when we are in the wrong.
They Both Went To Counseling
Couple's counseling and individual counseling.Planning communication times where we both had time to prepare and write down our thoughts before hand.Trying new things together, we took some cooking classes and tennis lessons. Listing reasons we love each other and respect each other. Doing nice things for each other.After 3 months it was like a whole new relationship. The original one wasn't horrid, but we hit some rough patches and needed help to learn to work together instead of make it harder on each other.Scheduling sex helped a lot too. We would get excited knowing it was coming and we felt a deeper level or intimacy.
They Had To Pause To Remember The Good Times
Me and my partner have been together for 7ish years and about 12 months ago we hit a big rough patch. I was super stressed out for various reasons and essentially self-sabotaging our relationship. For about 6 months we were in a rough patch. We almost broke up various times and I spent nights sleeping in our spare room.We got through it with a lot of work. We both had to stop and realise what we have which is a fantastic relationship 95% of the time and pull through it. We had a huge sit down discussion where we both aired how we were feeling and why and in that discussion we both flat out said whilst we could break up and move on neither of us wanted to and we wanted out relationship to get back on track. If we couldn't start getting on track again in a certain time frame we knew we should just call it quits. Luckily it didn't!It took effort and acceptance on both of our part but now we have had 6 great months and are back on track. We aren't silly. We know there still might be hurdles but as long as we work together to get through it we should be fine.
She Gave It Time
I found out about a year and a few months into my relationship that my partner had been snapchat sexting one of his friends that lived in a different state. He then tried to lie about it, and then claimed that he had deleted all of the photos (he hadn't, I found those maybe two weeks later.)tbh I managed it by completely emotionally checking out. It's weird, but I almost thought that it would be worse for my boyfriend long-term if I left than if I let him sort this shit out with me. I didn't owe him that. But I told him he was one bad move from being single and if he wanted to stay together and rebuild trust between us, the ball was in his court. I loved him, but I no longer cared if the relationship lived or died. Also told him in no uncertain terms that if he ever considered cheating on me again he better just leave me first out of respect for me. He had a lot of issues to work through within himself and I think having me to talk to about who he is and who he has been really helped. He also started going to therapy and sorted things out.Eventually he became someone I could trust and love again, and we're still together almost 4 years after the fact. I look at photos from back then and I don't recognize the man in them. It's like I'm dating an entirely different man. You should see the look on his face when I (jokingly) ask if he's cheating on me again-- it's like the face of someone remembering the last time they put their hand down on a burning hot stove being asked if they want to do it again.
They Got To Know Each Other Again
Had a very rough patch several years ago which resulted in us breaking up for several months, and me moving out. Mental health and external stresses on our lives were factors in it happening. We slowly and gently got to know each other again. We made time for each other and did things like go on bike rides and make sushi. I personally worked very hard on being the best version of myself I could be. I made an internal resolve to fully commit myself to working it out, even when it was hard, because I felt like it had to be all or nothing, and half-arsing it wasn't an option. We've been through similar (if not worse) stresses this year with mental health, family issues and job stresses, but it's different this time. It's still hard work sometimes, but we work together instead of against each other.
At the end of the day, what works for every relationship is different. The one thing I know for sure? You need to communicate! Talk to your partner, let them know what's going on with you and listen to what's going on with them. From there, the two of you can work on finding a solution the best way you know how.
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