The holidays can feel like a rough time to be single. If you're single on Thanksgiving, you may easily feel a little nervous going home for the holidays. Your family could be asking you questions about your love life, like if you're seeing anyone or even when you're getting married and having kids. These probing questions may feel shaming, like you can't just be single, like you have to be in a relationship to have a more fulfilled life or something. Like your career, educational pursuits, or being just you isn't enough.
Last year on Thanksgiving, my grandma reminded all of the grandchildren that she made a chuppah — essentially, a canopy that couples stand under during traditional Jewish wedding ceremonies. She said she wanted us to use it for our weddings. But at the time, none of us were in relationships. This reminder of my single status set in while I was dealing with the aftermath of a breakup, and it wasn't so great to be confronted with the fact that someone I thought I was going to marry at one point was no longer in my life. Of course, my grandma wasn't thinking of that or trying to be hurtful, but it still stung a little bit.
If your family members family members repeatedly ask you about your dating life, you shouldn't be ashamed for being single and letting them know there isn't an SO in your life.
Not being in a relationship is a great time to explore what you're into. This spans across the board of all things, really: what you want to study, pursue as a career, do in your spare time, what gender you like to date, and the kind of person you see yourself with. Being single allows you the freedom to travel freely, have a more open schedule to fill it with whatever you desire.
Plus, being single on Thanksgiving means you don't have a significant other you have to host on the holiday at home with your family, or feel like a possible outsider at an SO's family's Thanksgiving festivities. You can focus on your own family, help cook if that's your jam, or sit down to chat with your chosen family over a glass of wine and appetizers for Friendsgiving.
I'll give some of those family members or inquiring friends the benefit of the doubt and maybe they just want to see what's new with you, but harping on love lives can easily make people feel uncomfortable. You may want a significant other, but maybe the people you're dating aren't ready to settle down.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you, and it's totally valid if you want people to stop questioning you about your lack of partner in your life. A simple solution if people are bugging you is to say, "I'm single. So, what's new with you?" and pivot the conversation from there. It's clear and straightforward and lets that person know you don't want to discuss it any further. From there, you can enjoy the food, fall weather, and lack of probing questions for the rest of the night.
