When John Cena Moves On, Nikki Bella Admits It's Going To "Kill'" Her & Ugh, My Heart

When going through a breakup, the days, weeks, and months that follow often aren't easy, and understandably so. You're probably feeling a lot of mixed motions — emotions that may be heightened if you see your ex move on to someone new while you're still healing. Most recently, one of the Bella twins got incredibly real about how she's going to deal with that very situation when her ex starts dating someone new. Nikki Bella seeing John Cena move on is going to "kill" her, the WWE star revealed in a clip from the upcoming Total Bellas season finale. And honestly girl, same.

Nikki and Brie visited Napa Valley in the show's fourth season finale, which airs March 24. In the clip, Nikki said revisiting Napa was hard because the last time the twins were there, they were looking at a potential wedding venue for Nikki and John. "This is the first time I've been back in Napa since my big breakup, and I just immediately get all the memories," Nikki said. "But a part of me is like, 'OK, Nicole. Now you have to make new memories."

And while Nikki may be ready to make those new memories, when Brie asked how she was going to react if/when she saw John with someone else, Nikki's answer was as real as anyone's. "No matter what, the next time I see him with someone it's gonna kill me," she said. Honestly? Relatable AF, but she also said that that won't keep her from healing. "I still have a long way to go, but honestly, I'm ready for a new me. I need it. I need to start living as if I don't care who's — whether it's my ex or anyone else — watching me and afraid to hurt their feelings. I just want to move forward." Yaaaas, Nikki.

Visiting a spot that you associate with an ex can be really emotional, because all the memories you experienced there can come flooding back. "I think that's why I was crying so much yesterday," Nikki told Brie in the clip. "I feel like it was the first time I'm just fully, like, starting my true grieving and healing process."

In an interview with Access Live in January 2019, Nikki opened up about putting herself out there and slowly starting to date again, but made it clear that she's not looking for anything serious. "I’m just looking to have fun," she said. "I’m just in a fortunate position that I get to go on these dates with a lot of amazing guys. I mean, not a lot, it’s only been a few, hopefully it'll be a lot," she joked.

So, while Nikki is definitely still going through the healing process after her breakup with John (they were together for six years, after all!), it seems like she's in a good place overall. Seeing an ex move on is never easy, but I have a feeling Nikki Bella is going to be just fine.