Putting yourself out there is hard. Every time I say something "risky" (AKA revealing) and am vulnerable showing feelings to someone new, I have to hype myself up just to find the courage to do so. So figuring out the ideal text to ask out your crush can be pretty intimidating. Trying to choose how to text your crush to ask them out leads you to question all likely possibilities. But there's a chance that just sending that little text can yield a great reward for you: a date with your crush.
I spoke with online dating expert Julie Spira on the best possible text to send your crush to ask them out and this is what she had to say.
"Texts should be fun and flirty, and not abrupt like you’re in a meeting at work," Spira says. "For this reason, make it personal, and keep it short."
She recommends starting with something like, "I heard this song on the radio and thought of you. This band is playing next week, would you like to join me?" Spira says it's "a great way to show you care."
When sending that text to your crush, think of something you both enjoy that would be fun to experience together.
"Another great text could be, 'I know you love Lady Gaga, and I’m thinking of getting tickets for A Star is Born,'" Spira suggests. "'Would you like to go on Tuesday or Thursday?' The reason this works well is that you’re giving your date choices, and it shows you like to plan ahead and not wait until the last minute to make plans."
Plus, by offering your crush some flexibility with your nights, there's less pressure if they're genuinely interested in you but can't make one of the days.
If you two are already friends and run in the same social circle, maybe send them a text before some event where you know you'll see them. For example, Spira says, "Ask if they’ll be at an upcoming party where mutual friends will be there. If you know you’ll see them at work or in a class, send a short but sweet text."
When you're thinking about when to ask out your crush by text, consider that they may be in work or school and you could get a delayed response. So if you want a more immediate answer, try to text them beyond those normal working hours.
"The flow of text messages varies by each person, so it’s good to see how they respond," Spira says. "Some people don’t like to be bothered during work, and others welcome the distraction. See how quickly they respond to your text messages to gauge how often you should be pressing the send button."
So think of something casual but personal that is tailored for you and your crush and go ahead and send it. Who knows? They could very likely say yes.
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