Relationships
7 Brave Women Share Why They Called Their Weddings Off At The Last Minute
by Candice Jalili
While it may seem daunting in the moment, there are plenty of totally legitimate reasons to call off a wedding at the last minute. I know, I know, I know. But the deposits! The angry relatives! The person whose heart you very well may be breaking! The entire concept is absolutely terrifying. But when you compare all of those risks to the larger risk of being miserably married to someone you didn't want to marry in the first place, I think we can all agree it's worth pulling the trigger if you're not 100 percent certain.
In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies who have actually called their weddings off at the very last minute shared the reasons why they left. First and foremost, I think it's important that we note that there's no one right reason to call your wedding off. Some of these women left because the relationship was toxic, another left simply because she had a "gut feeling" that things weren't right. The important thing is that each one of them felt the impulse to leave, then found the courage to follow it. And the best part? Not one of them regrets the decision.
Read along their stories for yourself below:
Her gut told her something was "horribly wrong."
Left the person five days before our 300 person wedding, after dating for five YEARS. Hands down best decision of my life and have never looked back on that decision with regret. Not once.If you're having last minute cold feet, take some time to seriously assess those feelings. If your gut is REALLY telling you something is horribly wrong and you just can't do it, bail. So much easier to leave now than after. It was a little inconvenient to adjust to the new normal at first but was 100% worth it.
He was emotionally abusive.
Considered leaving him at the alter- I managed to find the courage to call off the wedding two weeks prior.We had only been together for about 4 months (friends for almost 2 years prior to dating) and he basically told me we were engaged and getting married, didn’t ask. I was young and in love so it took a long time to see that he was extremely mentally/emotionally abusive. I thought that the fact that we shared a faith meant he was a good guy and he’d never hurt me.He isolated me from all of my friends and most of my family, did everything for me so I almost never left his presence expect when I had to work, and began controlling almost every part of my life-where I could be and when, with who, for how long. I had to constantly be in contact with him, either over FaceTime, phone call or text. I honestly didn’t even register it was happening until I realized that I wasn’t ready to be married to anyone at that point, and there was a lot of dreams I had that he had shot down (seeing the world, a career change, going back to school).When I told him that I wanted to stay together, but I just felt like we were too young to get married and I wanted to wait, he blew up and grabbed my arm so hard he left bruises. The look in his eye made me honestly think he could’ve seriously injured/killed me. He hadn’t scared me like that and I knew it was time to get out before I couldn’t.I don’t ever regret leaving-I do regret not leaving sooner and telling someone what was happening. Looking back I knew what was going on, I was just so afraid of being alone that I justified all of his actions. I’m now happily married to the most supportive and kind man, and I have done everything I dreamed of and more.
She no longer had the desire to sleep with him.
I walked away 6 months before the wedding - with pretty much everything paid for and invitations out. I stopped and realized I hadn't had the desire to have sex with him in... over 2 years. I had literally been avoiding sex with him for almost half the time we were together. How had I thought that was okay? He was SO boring. I realized I was more than that - I meant to do things and go places and desire life. He drained me of my energy and my drive to do things.I just woke up one day and thought that. And went with it. I felt like the biggest weight in the entire universe was lifted off of me when I said it all out loud. That was almost 8 years ago - I'm married now to someone I cannot get enough of and we've traveled SO much of the world. My life is infinitely better today.
Their relationship wasn't what it was when they got engaged.
It wasnt quite at the altar but I left a long engagement 2 months before the wedding date. We got engaged early in the relationship but waited a few years before actually getting married so I could finish school. The relationship deteriorated over these years and he became emotionally abusive. I kind of felt trapped because we were living together and my parents were having marriage issues back home so I felt like I had nowhere to go. I finally woke up and realized I didn't have to stay with him, I was still able to go back home and while it was embarrassing having to cancel the wedding nobody gave me a hard time about it so it all worked out.
She felt like she was too young.
Not at the alter, but we were in the middle of planning a wedding. We dated for 8 years all throughout part of middle school and high school, and I really thought he was the one for a long time. Then we started planning our wedding and it hit me that nothing felt right at all. He was an amazing guy, and I did love him, but my gut kept telling me that he wasn’t the one for me. I broke it off, and it took awhile for me to get over it, but I was only 20 at the time. We were just so young. I was heartbroken, he was heartbroken, our families were heartbroken, but there’s absolutely no regrets from me and even from him now. We’ve talked since then and he also agreed on breaking if off but we were together for so long so it was hard to come to terms with that. Since then, I’m single and happy, and he has found a girlfriend that he loves. Overall, it ended up being the right thing for us even though it was a very painful situation at the time.
The relationship was toxic.
It wasn't at the alter but two weeks before the wedding I realized that it was toxic and it wasn't going to last. So I called it quits. Best decision of my life.It was awkward telling everyone but TBH I was young and basically got my mom to do it for me.
He was emotionally cheating.
I was engaged once . He and I had a mutual best friend who seemed just so happy we were together . I started to get suspicious of her though because she was a little TOO into us to the point where it seemed fake. She also seemed way too close to my fiancé but I trusted them.Well sure enough I find later she likes him, they've been flirting. I break up with him and they're together IMMEDIATELY afterwards.I had to go through therapy because of it. But glad it didn't work out as I am way happier now. 💪🏽 (also they broke up about two weeks later lol)
Cheers to these women and their bravery!
