10 Heartbreaking Revelations From Demi Lovato's New Docuseries

Demi Lovato isn't holding back in her new YouTube docuseries, Dancing With The Devil. The first two episodes premiered on Tuesday, March 23, and although there are still two more left, fans have already learned so much about the 28-year-old popstar. The series largely focuses on Lovato's 2018 overdose and her path toward recovery, but it also dives into other big moments in her life, including her father's death, her experience being a Disney Channel star, and her broken engagement to actor Max Ehrich. If you think you know the singer, wait until you read these Demi Lovato facts revealed in Dancing With The Devil because they're shocking, heartbreaking, hopeful, and everything in between. (CONTENT WARNING: This article discusses eating disorders, substance abuse, and sexual assault.)

1. Demi was working on another documentary before it got shelved due to her 2018 overdose.

Dancing With The Devil began with concert footage of Lovato's 2018 Tell Me You Love Me tour. In the older clips, the star appeared happy and her crew raved about how well she was doing.

"This tour has been fun every show," Lovato said at the time. However, as the singer explained, she had only been "allowing the cameras to see the tip of the iceberg" because she was secretly doing drugs. When she overdosed in July 2018, the documentary was canceled.

2. Quarantine gave Demi the chance to work through her "trauma."

It wasn't until quarantine that Lovato had the opportunity to reflect on everything that had happened surrounding her overdose. Since she hadn't disclosed details about her hospitalization until now, she filmed Dancing With The Devil to show fans a more honest and vulnerable side of her they've never seen before.

3. Demi's feelings about her father's death were complicated.

Lovato had an estranged relationship with her birth father, Patrick Lovato, so she had mixed feelings about his death in June 2013. As an advocate for mental health, Lovato felt guilty because she couldn't help her father, who lived with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and addiction. She also felt sorry because he unfortunately died alone. At the same time, she resented him for reportedly being absent in her life and physically abusing her mother, Dianna De La Garza.

4. Participating in beauty pageants hurt Demi's self-esteem.

Lovato participated in beauty pageants when she was seven years old, but the experience was not goof. The pageants actually hurt her self-esteem, and whenever she lost a competition, she would "punish" herself by not eating.

This mentality followed her throughout her adult life. For example, she admitted to feeling insecure while wearing the more revealing stage costumes during her 2018 TMYLM tour. "There is just so much pressure as a female to look a certain way and dress a certain way," Lovato said at the time. "I put on a little weight, so I don't want to go on stage every night in clothes that are showy."

5. Demi's staff controlled what she ate and who she hung out with.

Lovato relapsed back into disordered eating because of the mental stress that came with "over exercising" and "extreme dieting," as well as her management policing what her friends (who all had to be drug tested and sober) ate around her. While they may have been trying to help, this control over her life only made her more miserable.

6. Demi relapsed on drugs and alcohol one month after celebrating her six-year sobriety anniversary in March 2018.

"I had a photoshoot and I remember being at the photoshoot just thinking to myself, 'I don't even know why I'm sober anymore. I am so miserable. I'm not happy. I have all this stuff that I'm dealing with,'" she shared. "I picked up a bottle of red wine that night and it wasn't even 30 minutes before I called someone that I knew had drugs on them," Lovato recalled, adding she went to a party and ran into her former drug dealer. "I'm surprised I didn't OD that night... I just went to town. I went on a shopping spree."

7. Demi wrote "Sober" during her trip to Bali.

Demi revealed she started using heroine and it wasn't until she went on a trip to Bali a few weeks later in May 2018 that she realized she was becoming "physically dependent" on it.

During that trip, she wrote "Sober," which is a song about relapsing that goes, "Momma, I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore / And daddy, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor / To the ones who never left me / We've been down this road before / I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore."

8. Demi's friends and family had no idea she was in the hospital until the news came out.

During the second episode of the docuseries, Lovato's loved ones discussed hearing about her overdose for the first time. Many admitted they were unaware she was hospitalized until others texted them about hearing it on the news.

"I looked down at my phone and I saw everybody in the world was texting me," the star's mother said, explaining they all sent prayers to her family. "I was so confused. I thought maybe she had been in a car accident. I had no idea."

Lovato's other friends and family members shared similar stories.

9. Demi's overdose had catastrophic physical effects.

Lovato's overdose was life-threatening in several ways because she experienced three strokes and a heart attack, which resulted in brain damage, and she had pneumonia and multiple organ failure. "I'm really lucky to be alive," she said. "I've had a lot of lives, like [a] cat. I'm on my ninth life."

When she woke up after her overdose, Lovato also said she was legally blind and didn't recognize her sister. Due to her developing blind spots, Lovato said she can't drive anymore.

10. Demi claims she was sexually assaulted by her drug dealer.

The same night as her overdose, Lovato said she got "taken advantage of" by her drug dealer. "When I woke up in the hospital, they asked if I had consensual sex. There was one flash that I had of him on top of me. I saw that flash and I said 'yes.' It actually wasn't until maybe a month after my overdose that I realized, 'Hey, you weren't in any state of mind to make a consensual decision,'" she said.

The revelations about Lovato in Dancing With The Devil are heartbreaking. If you haven't watched the docuseries yet, catch the trailer below.

You can also watch new episodes of Dancing With The Devil for free on Tuesdays on YouTube.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit online.rainn.org.

If you or someone you know is seeking help for substance use, call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357).

If you or someone you know has an eating disorder and needs help, call the National Eating Disorders Association helpline at 1-800-931-2237, text 741741, or chat online with a Helpline volunteer here.