I know the saying "hindsight is 20/20" is kind of a cliché, but it's so freaking true. It's often way easier for us to see where we went wrong in a particular situation after we've distanced ourselves from it. This is especially true when it comes to dating and love. Unfortunately, it can be tough to see relationships clearly when you're muddling through them. In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies share their best tips for how to fix a relationship that they gathered from their past regrets.
Read along and learn from their mistakes!
Communicate openly with your partner.
I’d focus more on open communication. If I don’t communicate what I’m feeling/wanting, I can’t be upset when they don’t read my mind.
Know when it's time to call it quits.
I would break up with all of them way, way sooner.
Be willing to be vulnerable when times get tough.
Yeah, my lack of willingness to be honest, vulnerable and form a real partnership made me a bit of a dickish girlfriend. I can't say I relate to most of the comments here, I dated nothing but great guys (that had their own faults of course) but always kept them at a distance with my lack of openness. I did learn a lot and I'm a way better partner for my current boyfriend though.
Remember honesty really is the best policy.
I’d be honest. I regret how my past relationships ended.
If you think you're settling, don't be afraid to walk away.
I was a pushover and I allowed myself to be strung along. I wish I hadn’t stuck around even though I was the only one whose heart was in it. I wish I hadn’t settled for a sorta-kinda and had just walked away.
Seek help for yourself as an individual before focusing on the relationship.
I left my husband before seeking help for my depression. Our divorce was finalized yesterday. We’re “dating” now. But i wish i got help before i left. Things are different now.
Prioritize your own happiness.
I wouldn't have put his happiness before my needs. I would be more vocal about problems instead of worrying so much about his reaction if I brought them up. I wouldn't let him get away with so much crap.
Accept the place they're at in life.
I’d have let him rebound off me SO HARD. That’s what he wanted (he was coming off a 10’yead marriage, and would say things like “I don’t want her to be the last woman I touched. I need to get her out of my brain”), and I shoved him into the friendzone (because HELLO EMOTIONAL TRAUMA, I always need to FIX that sh*t instead of f*ck it away). By the time I realized I liked his d*ck, he was seeing someone else. He’s my best friend, now, but 100% that would still be the case had we fucked. But we didn’t and it is, to date, one of my biggest regrets. I’m always hopeful I’ll get my chance but honestly, I’m pretty sure we missed our moment (he just moved in with the girl. Dammit.)
While it isn't always so simple to learn from other people's regrets, it's worth keeping an eye out for these common problems in your own love life. Hindsight may be 20/20, but so is looking clearly at how you feel about your current relationship.
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