When You're Officially Moving In Together, Send These 5 Texts To Your Fam
There’s a lot you need to accomplish once you and bae have decided to move in together. Of course, this entails discussing which neighborhoods you can agree on, finding a realtor, going on showings together, and figuring out how you’ll handle finances. Oh yeah — and you’ll have to find a way to announce that you’re officially moving in together so your loved ones are in the loop. It may not be the first thing that comes to mind amidst everything else on your to-do list, but it’s still an important step. After all, cohabitating is a pretty massive milestone in your relationship, and your family will likely want to hear the news from you rather than finding out through Facebook (or when they drop by your digs unexpectedly — #awk).
But how exactly do you share this kind of news over text? Well, that all depends on your circumstances. If you know mom and dad are a big fan of your boo, then your message will obviously be very different than if your parents have never met your partner, or don’t approve of the relationship. Crafting the perfect text means taking their feelings into account, while also firmly standing your ground. Above all, it means expressing your enthusiasm for this next chapter in your life — because let’s be real, that energy is contagious. So no matter how your family is feeling about this huge step, your excitement is bound to rub off on them eventually.
Still not sure how to break your big news? Try following one of these text templates that are tailored to your specific situation.
If you’re not sure how they’ll react.
Honestly, this could go many different ways. Your parents could be pumped for you — or they could react with concern and urge you to pump the brakes. If you’re not really sure how they’re going to take the news, then it’s best to infuse your text with lots of positivity. Frame it as a joyful announcement without any justification or insecurity about their response — because the more confident you are in expressing that this is a good thing, the more likely they are to see it that way. Try something along the lines of:
Exciting news: [Partner’s name] and I have decided to move in together! Can’t wait to show you our newly shared home.
This is effective for several reasons. It gets straight to the point, but it’s also brimming with positivity. And since you’re not asking any questions or encouraging any particular kind of response, you give your family time to sit with the news and (hopefully) accept it before responding when they’re ready.
If they’ve been pressuring you to get married.
So, you and bae have been together for years, and as of late, the family has been prying a lot about when you're getting engaged. You may not be telling your parents what they want to hear (that you’re tying the knot), but regardless, you can view this as an opportunity to demonstrate that you and your boo are dedicated to continually strengthening your commitment to each other — and on your own time.
Shoot your fam a text with an envelope that’s made out to you and your partner, with your new address. Then say:
Save the date: [moving date] — and send all mail here! #BabySteps
Maybe, just maybe, they’ll pipe down about popping the question when they see that you and your SO are crossing another equally exciting milestone together.
If they stan your relationship hard.
Honestly, your boo is basically part of the family already. They’ve spent holidays at your parents, and they even have their own inside jokes with your siblings. Lucky for you, this makes sharing your news super easy. Because if your family is a big fan of your relationship, then it’s safe to say they’ll be happy for you both about this next step you’re taking. Snap a pic of you and bae with a couple of glasses of bubbly (or whatever your beverage of choice is), and add:
What are we celebrating, you ask? Moving in together! Can’t wait to have a toast to this new chapter with you all.
Then you can just kick back, relax, and wait for the enthusiastic responses to roll in.
If they haven’t met your partner yet.
Letting your family know that you’re moving in with your partner can be tricky business if they haven’t met yet. Simply put, they may not know how to react. After all, they don’t even know if they like your SO. So, in announcing your news over text, treat it as a little pre-introduction to your future roomie. If your fam lives nearby, you might consider making plans for them to finally get to know your partner in person. For example, you could write:
[Partner’s name and I] would like to cordially invite you over for drinks/appetizers at our new shared abode on [date and time].
This is a great way to share your news because if your parents are uncertain about their feelings regarding your cohabitation, they don’t have to fake their support. Instead, they can focus instead on your offer to get together — which is something for you all to be pumped about in itself.
If your family lives far away, you can still make them feel included in this milestone. Rather than scheduling an in-person meet and greet, get a FaceTime date in the books so they can at least be introduced to your boo before you become roommates.
If you predict they’ll be against it.
If you’re pretty sure your family isn’t going to approve of your decision to move in together, then certainly, it’s going to be a tad more challenging to craft a text about it. Whether you have a feeling they’ll think you’re moving too fast or they haven’t warmed up to you partner yet, the key is to keep your message simple, straightforward and upbeat, while making it clear that your decision isn’t rash.
“You don't need a lengthy script or a prepared speech, but your parents will be much more comfortable if they know this is something you've thought a lot about and aren't jumping into on a whim,” marriage and family therapist Dr. Carolina Castaños previously told Elite Daily. “Tell them about your relationship, that you've thought this through, how you feel, what this person means to you, and the reasons why you feel you’re ready to do this.”
Here’s some inspiration to get you started:
Just wanted you guys to be the first to know that after some in-depth discussions about our future, [partner’s name and I] decided that we’re ready to move in together. I couldn’t be happier about taking this next step, and I know that in time you’ll see why. I’d be glad to tell you more about why we made this decision, but in the meantime, here’s to an exciting new chapter!
This text does several things. For one, it shows your family that you care enough about their feelings to share the news with them ASAP. It also emphasizes that this is a thoughtful, deliberate decision that was based on honest, mature conversations about your relationship — not impulsive whims. And lastly, it opens up the door for you to share your reasoning with them if they’re open to hearing it.
Announcing that you and your boo are moving in together may not be the easiest thing to do over text. After all, regardless of how much you think your parents like your partner, or support your relationship, you can’t really predict how they’ll react. And ultimately, you cannot control how your parents feel about this news, either. However, you can control how you share it with them, and all of these texts are chock full of grace, poise, and compassion. And as they say — you get what you give.
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